Stumbling along

....and just like that, my one and only exam is over.
How anti-climatic. But sheer relief is the feeling that swept over me.

It has been a busy busy time....
vocal exams, rehearsals, studying, rehearsals, concerts, rehearsals, studying, rehearsals.
I love it though (the rehearsals part...)
Done a little bit of Melbourne suburbia on the train...I quite enjoy it, even if it does take more time. It's quite exciting to see where people live, and to go to the suburbs and see the various characters.

Mozart and Strauss have been the pillars of this semester's music-ing.
There is a bit more to go (of the Strauss sort).


Okay, so I left this post for a while, and now it's another day...let me continue...

And just like that, all the exams are over. Mine and the others'. They went mostly ok. Some more satisfying than others, some more comfortable than others. But very happy for them all.
Yes, I tend to get personally involved in them. Even if I really shouldn't. But that's just me. And if it doesn't turn out so well, so be it - some of them are not there for me to feel personally responsible.
There has been much money spent on food. There has been some funny (read: strange) events. Of weird coincidences; interesting. There have been things to hang on to, things to return (still pending hehe). There has been standing in the cold, but totally worth it.
I miss being ridiculously busy.....(I never think I'll say that, but hey, there it is!)
I wonder if we should talk...?

The end of the semester

What? Another semester gone already!
One more hour of required class to go to. And then it's twelve weeks of the undergraduate installment. Eek.
Much has happened in the past two weeks.
There has been much playing, most of all. Playing of trio music, of quintet music, Strauss concerto, other music. There has been applying for AYO and AISOI. There have been final assessments: conducting tests, chamber music exams (if you missed these, you missed out big time. They were awesome. But you'll be able to catch us on the radio. Even if you're not in this city! The other one, I hope you get to hear it sometime soon, because it was awesome. Not kidding.) There have been fun times two-piano-ing. There has been some MYO-ing (and more to come).
Oh, and I've managed to go to uni in-between all that. Which apparently has one commerce class somewhere....

So, pretty much, lots of music-king. Enough in the last two weeks to confirm that this is what I want to do. How, is another question. I've been asked quite a bit in the last three months, "What are you going to do next year?" The truthful answer is "I don't know." It scares me quite a bit.
I'd like to stay in this city - I've definitely fallen in love with it. And I don't think I could leave the people I've met here. But I know some of them are moving, or might move. And that makes me a little bit sad - all of the people I've met in my time here have shaped the way the last four and half years have happened. I know life keeps moving, but there are parts of me that sometimes want it to go back in time, or for time to stand still for a while so that things can be replayed, or happen for a long time without any change.

I'd like to go elsewhere in the not-so-distant future though. Sydney was an option, there is a course I'd like to pursue up there, but I'm not sure I could fall in love with the city as much as I have here. And there's the prospect of Manchester, which is somewhere I'd really like to go. But I know that's far, and the opportunity, if it arises, would be awesome. I know I'd be very sad though.

I thought I had a really clear idea, but now I'm not so sure. I'd like to think of myself as a forward-planner, but really, that's only for some things. Dreams. Not necessarily practical. I'm possibly organised, but not necessarily a planner. In some ways, much of my life is really circumstantial - stuff happens because it happens (although planned by somebody far greater than me!). I just let it happen, and hopefully take the right ones and run with them. So I'm sorry if I haven't gotten down and had the real conversation I've been meaning to have with you just yet - to find out how you're really going and stuff like that. I've just been having it with other people.

I'm terribly scared. Of what may or may not happen.
What would happen if I dared?

Ahh! Overload...!

So. Much. Mozart.
Don't get me wrong, I love Mozart. But there's just so. much. of. it. right. now.
Concerti.
Trio.
Quintet.
Sonata.
Arias.
Whole operas.

Almost everyday this week, I've gotten two new bits of music.
Fun. Just so. much. to. learn.

Please be patient with me.
The downside to being asked to do stuff? Over-commitment. And my inability to say no.
I'm very slowly learning.

So much for an early night....!

So hopefully this is the turnaround of being a bad friend. Key point being hopefully. I will at least attempt it.
Been in virtual hiding for a bit, although my activity on Facebook might say otherwise.
Flew back to Melbourne, took the most ridiculous (and expensive) taxi ride due to the ineptitude driver. Was grumpy. Sunday pretty relaxed (although I was supposedly on a tight schedule...go figure..), met up with a friend to practice some German and ended up talking for a little while. Got to see his house though, it's very cool!
And thus began the three weeks of lockdown/craziness.

Orchestra
Was asked to play in orchestra two weeks before the concert. Stravinsky's Firebird suite. It's not easy. I got my music at noon on Monday, and was expected to be at the rehearsal, ready to go at 5.30pm that afternoon. I looked at it for 20mins and almost lost the plot. Thankfully, the conductor was forgiving as I explained to him the situation, apologising for my lack of preparation and promising that by the next week it'd be perfect. Orchestra took up Monday night, Tuesday night, Sunday afternoon, the following Monday night, Tuesday night and Thursday afternoon before the concert Thursday night. So, I could make those times, but those were actually the times I was supposed to be doing those assignments. Oh, I see why I got so time-deprived....
It was fun though. I really enjoy doing orchestra, particularly as most of my friends are orchestra players. The organisation of it was miserable (the fault of the top admin, I believe) but the actual playing was ok, and the learning experience good.
A few friends came to the concert, which was quite exciting - the message going around was that a lot of them couldn't make it, which I was getting a little sad about. P said it was a reflection of how many good friends I had, or moreso, which ones were actually the good ones! Haha. I was pleasantly surprised to see one friend, didn't think he was coming at all, so that was nice!
Went to the afterparty for a little longer than intended, but it was really nice to hang out with those friends as well as musos afterwards. The usual crowd, fun times :)

Birthdays
The celebration of three in one week. My actual birthday was a very busy day, so it didn't feel particularly celebratory except for the masses of FB love and text messages :) Couldn't really party big time though with lots of uni on, rehearsal to attend, and tests the next day to study for! But thanks to everybody who did send greetings and love, muchly appreciated :)
Two days later, we carried out the most unsurprising and awkward birthday surprise party. It was pretty funny in retrospect. So much effort had been put into the operation, I was very impressed. There was some behind-the-scenes communication on the inside, a decoy, and a nice turn-out. Amazing party food (woo!) and good company.
Actually celebrated my own birthday a little bit over two occasions: dinner at Thaila Thai (followed by the Comfy Chair afterwards, not planned, but the night was left open) and then brunch the following morning at Cicalata. Both were lovely occasions, it was good to hang out with friends for some time over the weekend, pretty blissful :) Thanks to those who did come to celebrate, and no worries to those who couldn't make it. It was fun, but not a huge deal frankly - still had much work and business to attend to that weekend, so it was some good relief and fun :)
The next party was the following night after church, felt a lot like a pizza party - it was awesome. Much fun, with the usual suspects again (whom I love very much!) - it was good to celebrate! I had fun, and a lovely time. :)
Just this last weekend, celebrated a 21st birthday with a champagne breakfast in South Yarra. It was truly beautiful, and much fun. And a great idea! L, you are an amazing girl - it's probably not so evident, but I truly love you to bits and admire and respect you so much.

Clothes
The church has recently been repainted as part of the restoration works. Now, to go with the forward looking Vision, the church has adopted and equally modern outlook on the walls. Ask me to show you sometime if you haven't already seen it. We were on music that weekend, so we thought it'd be a fantastic idea to dress according to the colours of the church. That is, some grey (and white if desired) with highlights of red, blue and lime green. Bright much? Yes, that's right, we matched the church. Right down to some bits of grey, me wearing a kid's blue jumper (so we didn't have so much red in the lineup), P wearing ALL three colours (and that's what she would NORMALLY wear....!), and S's shirt matching the lime green wall so much that it looked almost like Floating Head Dummer.
All Blacks. Much performing.

More performing
So, asides from the orchestra concert, there's been some repeated Concert Class appearances. As in, I'm playing in some form or another (trio, quintet, accompanying) every week. yes, that's six consecutive weeks. I hope I'm not boo-ed off for being so prominent haha. Well, the way I see it, I'm (we're) getting practice because we got our act together. It's all about efficiency......
And there was last Friday where Chamber Class was the J&G show. No kidding. Our quintet was first, then our trio. Just in case you know, hand't had enough Mozart. Or Eb Major. Again. Haha. It was wonderful though. Even though it wasn't performance do-or-die at that time, it was still pretty adrenalin-pumped to play well for the whole hour. Which left me EXHAUSTED at the end of the day! I see how playing an entire concert with that much concentration, adrenalin and pressure is a very difficult thing!


So, the group assignment is finished, as is the essay (although that was pretty much done three days in advance woo efficiency and nerdiness!) apart from a couple of final touch-ups the day before. All is finished with that today. And I thought I was going to go to bed early tonight, until I realised that I have a test tomorrow (not too nervous about it, thankfully - yet...) and some homework to do. And much admin to sort through. I like doing the admin, but maybe with not so much work that needs to be done, you know? So much for that early night...I'll catch up on the sleep next week - am not going to the ball so I can have me-time. Muchly needed. I'll get there.....

Am trying to do Organisation Freakism as I realise that I have exams in two weeks' time (eek!) and uni has to keep rolling in that time, and that there are other things to prepare for in that time. I wish I had the next two weeks to do intense chamber music for the whole time. Alas, that is not possible, how unfortunate. But I have drawn up a timeline for each group - there is much work to be done......so possibly will not be the best friend at the moment......sorry....I'll do it as best I can!

Exciting little snippets: some good comments about my playing, particularly from people who can do stuff and facilitate stuff. I just need to maintain standards. And I did admittedly say No this evening to something, plus only a fairly unlikely 'maybe' to something else. It feels a little sad because as a young musician, you take as many opportunities you get. But in my case, it's often to the detriment of my health or ever-so-slightly mental state (even though I love being busy). And that's where knowing that I over-commit has to kick in and be sensible.

Sorry...

...if I'm a crap friend in the next three weeks. Please forgive me.
I thought I could do everything, and therefore said yes to it all.
I really want to do it, so I am. But this is the brief overview:
7: number of orchestra rehearsals in the next two weeks
1: Paris essay (60%) due
1: Econometrics project (20% group) due
1: Econometrics test
2: Conducting tests
7: Playing in front of people of sorts (not rehearsals)
1: Birthday that is my own to celebrate
5: Other birthdays to celebrate :)

Don't get me wrong, I love rehearsals, I love performing, I enjoy working hard and being pushed to work hard. Just perhaps not in such quick succession and so much so condensed.

ANAM Applications out soon. Haven't had lesson. Starting to worry a lot. What if I can't do it?
What if I can't even audition for AYO stuff? AHH!!

I can't wait for the semester to be over, but it means some stuff will finish there. I hope some of it doesn't, that it continues. Hopefully. Time is a friend. Also an enemy...
Please bear with me. I value your friendships very much - just be patient, and please support and encourage me!

Eighteen weeks left of universty: the undergrad installment

Ahh!
Easter is upon us - which means term one is over. Which means I'm supposed to have learnt half of the material for this semester already. Ahh! I am very far from that!
Rehearsals again have taken up much of my time - which I do admittedly enjoy. Have fortunately managed to meet up with friends in-between that (some more than others...) which is also good. I like those moments.

So, highlights have included....

* Getting gelate on Lygon St on a lovely Saturday afternoon. A lovely way to while away the time... :)
* Wednesdays. Conducting class has been challenging, amusing and frustrating. And a time to get really hungry....whereupon we immediately run out to get lunch. Pity we don't get pastries (yet!) in the morning during our quintet rehearsal.....we're still waiting ;)
* Fun music practice. Where we check out the new colour scheme. And then how that becomes the hot topic of conversation. (Eg. would you have a wedding with those walls? What would the bridesmaids wear? Who or what would actually be the centre of attention?!)
* 21sts. There's not too many left to attend (I think...) but there are a few. Particularly good when almost everybody there you also consider your close friends in that circle too. Lovely.
* Housewarmings. Paintings. Friends.
* Chamber music tutes that go well. When they like us :) Which seems to be working out for us at the moment......and the satisfaction of being pushed hard because somebody thinks you have potential. And then hearing the results. So exciting.
* Exciting music ideas.....and how people are really excited about delivering the news!
* Playing in Concert Class (even when you play wrong notes that are dissonant and really funny!). And for singing lessons. And for grad seminars.
* Long hours of days out - morning till night. Running around madly trying to make rehearsals, meetings, dinner appointments, concerts. Awesome times. Except for the homework I didn't do....but I knew I was never going to do it...
* Those days that are really cold....but sunny and clear. One of my favourite sorts. More heat is preferable for some, but this, I think is really ideal, so long as one is dressed approrpriately for it.
* Massive church services because there are four people being baptised on the same night. Awesome. Truly.

I fell asleep (read: nodded off multiple times) in EVERY class this week - oops...there is much revision to be done.
And there is a warm bed waiting for me to hop into it. Why am I blogging now? I've set my alarm for six hours' time....so that I can catch a cab at 7.15am. So. Early. Ahhh.
See y'all back in the 'bourne soon...
xoxo. Not that one. Just me. :P

So long!

Ah! I thought I'd updated a bit more recently than Feb 24th. Apologies to reader(s?!) out there.
Anyway, uni started. It has been very busy. Even before uni started.
Did more travelling by going on QC Mentor Camp to Foster North (for the 3rd year in a row!). I've been to more mentor camps than not in my time haha....
We were a bit worried given that there were fires around that area, but they were pretty far from where we were going, so it was ok.

Uni really snuck up on me. I really need a holiday now. I needed one three weeks ago.....how sad!
Still getting my head around my timetable, all my homework (which has seriously snuck up on me - how did this all happen?!). I thought final year was going to be more of the same....but it's not really. It feels like I have a couple of large projects due, which I didn't expect at all..
Feeling fairly stressed - really still haven't figured out this whole uni thing again! I'm fitting in an Accompanying lesson as well (which isn't on campus) as well as a couple of hours of work a week. I've found that Monday-Wednesday is super super busy and then it all just disappates and Thursday has no classes (though possibly a Concert Class appearance) and Friday has a rehearsal and only one class!

Got asked to play in MYO for their performance of Shostakovich's 7th Symphony. It's pretty exciting - this is my fifth orchestral pianist experience, and the fourth time it's Shosta! It's fairly well-run, which is cool, plus I have a couple of friends in the orchestra so it makes it exciting to actually go to the rehearsals, and know that I'll be playing on stage with these friends!

Trio got super-organised and put in all our plans for this semester - all our rehearsals (all the regular ones anyway, with possible emergency ones to be scheduled as we go along) put in, as well as our first tute confirmed, as well as our final date of performance (read: assessment) and the dates that we'll play in class. It's nice to have that all in concrete (I think it's pretty set anyway!).

I'm sad to have left Apollo - but think they're in fairly safe hands :) But now I'm seeing I couldn't have managed it - probably a wise decision (I'd like to think so anyway!) Again, I'm pulling weird hours (though you know, fairly usual Gladys-hours...)

Okay, I should get off the internet and you know, actually go get some of that sleep that I'm desparately craving!

ps. Went to MSO last weekend (thanks J!). Pretty cool. Ashkenazy conducted and Janine Jansen played pretty darn amazingly! I forgot how much fun going to concerts were. And how many musos you see when you go! Plus, I ran into my old school's now-retired deputy principal (the one whose farewell concert I played at, the same one the school flew me home for!). How coincidental - it was fun :) I love those weird funny stories!

Lots has happened since February 5th.

AYO Season 1 has concluded. I've played with the orchestra at Costa Hall (Deakin University, Geelong), as well as at the Great Hall of Parliament House in Canberra. We drove through areas affected by Black Saturday after the hottest day on record. We travelled in a bus from Melbourne to Canberra, as well as from Canberra to Sydney. I almost met my MP at Parliament House. I saw Gideon Kremer and his orchestra at Llewellyn Hall. I stayed at one of the most beautiful colleges I've ever stayed at (Women's College at Sydney University). I went to the SCG for a Professional Development Session, had a photo with Georgie Parker, had another photo with Steve Waugh. I caught a bus (after getting completely drenched along the main road, just like in the movies) into the centre of Sydney city, and managed to (eventually!) get on the right train for a 45min ride out to Seven Hills. I watched the rehearsal of AYO in Sydney including the one with Human Nature singing one of my favourite songs, 'People Get Ready'.
Had some post-AYO S1 withdrawal symptoms; it almost felt strange to not be surrounded by crazy awesome musos all the time!

Managed to get back to Melbourne. Got picked up from the airport and driven back 'home' by a friend - thank you. Trying to 'set up shop' back in the same flat from last year. Yes, the same one - had to move out over summer if I didn't want to pay the rent. Oh well. Still not completely all set up - boxes still in lounge room etc. but getting there. Hopefully will be neat(er) this year; we've put a cleaning regime in place. Hopefully it works and sticks!

Busy weeks back after AYO. Friends have probably thought that because uni starts next week, we need to enjoy the rest of the summer holidays as long as they last, which means we should go out lots! It's fun, just tiring sometimes and can get expensive. But it's really nice to get back into the groove with everybody. S1 in Melbourne felt a little strange, like I was in my adopted home city, but not. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends, but over time they change composition according to circumstances, a lot of the time. So it feels like sometimes it needs time to get back into it. I feel like a lot has happened in Melbourne while I've been away; I mean, yeah, a lot has happened that I feel like I've missed out on. We've been to MSO with a picnic, I had to skip Luna Park (but it sounded fun!), we went to the beach (the boys played Ultimate, the girls watched; we got fish and chips), I missed gelate (due to being at ANAM for a concert - very musician crowd, so different!), we're going to Night Market. Spent almost a day in the city because of Cathedral gig - the company was excellent though, made it bearable and fun! I think I'll miss a few things because of this camp this weekend....I hate missing things. And saying no.

Been into uni almost every day - hello practice regime. Gotta get back into it. Now that I figured that I think I know what I want to do next year. There's a path of hard work ahead of me. Haven't really got into the swing as much as I'd like, but next week will REALLY kick in soon...Just been on LMS and figured out that I have homework before I start and that I'm already behind! Such a worrying way to start the year....

Going to go switch mobile phone plans. Sorry Optus - there was a time when Prepaid was the best option, but some of the service has been not top-notch and the rates aren't really cutting it anymore. I hate to think that a brand I've been loyal to for about five years is losing a customer...oh well. Been to mentor training for the Con and will be taking on mentees from Queen's as well. I'm a little worried but hopefully it'll be ok.

Busy is the name of this year, I think. Nothing out of the ordinary though, I suppose. I'm staying in my allocated Conducting Class - with some friends phew. Trying to organise times and schedules....
I have ten hours of class this semester
but that excludes:
my piano lesson
lesson with accompanying teacher
chamber music rehearsals (quintet, trio/s?)
any accompanying things
3hrs of work in the library

And I'm supposed to be studying? And keeping a social life? Hah.
We'll see. I'll try.

Still around!

Just not posting regularly....

Music Camp in Adelaide came and went. It was lots of fun - awesome music, a very jam-packed schedule of rehearsals, more rehearsals, concerts, even more rehearsals. The concerts were awesome, Shostakovich 11 was incredibly moving. And loud. And very long! Had a great party afterwards, involving going out at 11pm and staying out till 4am. And then playing some table-tennis till about 4.45am. All in time for some people to catch a 7am bus. At least mine was a bit later, but two hours sleep doesn't quite cut it normally! It was fun though. Definitely a really fun camp. Possibly more detail to follow in another post.....

Went home for a week to relax a little, reminisce much about Camp, get prepared to pack up again and go again, but this time for an extended time! Saw Australia Day fireworks from a prime location, and celebrated Chinese New Year at abou the same time - quite a unique coincidence of dates!

A week and a bit after arriving home from camp, I was off again to Melbourne for AYO tour. Still on it, our first concert is tonight in Melbourne Town Hall. I've been looking forward to this concert for a while now, also because lots of my friends are coming to see it woo! I'll definitely try to do a wrap-up of tour when it's over. Remind me.

Also more reminders to self: a post called "Criticisms" with key topics Principals, Orders of Australia, AOC funding. Grr....

The end of 2008 - hello 2009!

Christmas at our place was quite large...22 people in all. We went to church in the morning, and then promptly came home to cook for the rest of the day! The feast was quite amazing - so much food, so many people!

Went to some of the post-Christmas sales, but definitely not the Boxing Day rush of Myer and David Jones. I'd gone to bed the night before (or morning!) at 3am after the clean-up (including staying up to see the end of the dishwashing cycle, as it was the first time we used the machine!) so a serious sleep-in was in order. As well as watching the cricket.

Managed to catch up with a couple of friends (well, will do so by the end of this week!). But mostly been hiding at home, enjoying the air-conditioning!

Camp music came (finally!) - I was expecting Stravinsky. Instead, I got Shostakovich and Ades. Which shocked me a little. Because I was prepared for hard. And got and easy bit and a VERY VERY hard bit. I think I got the harder end of the deal! And I also got AYO music, which is mostly fun. The Shostakovich is mostly octaves (including 31 bars of A octaves at a very loud dynamic!), with some other bits in-between, including a few solos yay! The Bernstein is so much fun (quite complex and hard though!) but it's not a boring piano part, which is good - ie. I don't sit there for most of the piece only to play a little segment. I actually play for most of the piece. It should be fun. We got the itinerary for the three-week tour, which looks like lots of fun. We're mostly based in Melbourne, but will be travelling to Geelong for a concert, as well as to Canberra for a few days (9hr coach ride ahh!) as well as to Sydney for a couple of days as well.

I'm off to Adelaide this weekend, which I'm excited about (but a little nervous woo!). Should be fun. Don't really know what is going to go down there, but should be good. And then home for another week and a half and then off again. Wow, these holidays are going pretty fast!

Social idea for Melbourne '09.....
Let's go to the outdoor movies at the Botanic Gardens when I get back to Melbourne!
What do you think?

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Back at home, chilling out. Haven't found a job with the agency yet. But I'm fairly content to relax. Eagerly anticipating NMC music which is supposed to be in the mail.

Enjoyed last few days in Melbourne - Night Market, Lygon St adventures, airport rides, extended BBC viewing sessions, pizza-making.

Thanks to those who called me last week - really appreciated it.
Wish I could be there with you all.

Lots of stuff!

So, since my last post.....
It has been very busy (bus since when has it not?)
There was that week of a bajillion rehearsals. Fun fun. That week probably gave me a bit of a taste of what it was like to be a freelance musician. I have to say I quite liked it. You know, own practice in the morning, afternoon rehearsals (evening if necessary). Some performances here and there (afternoon and evening when necessary). Master's recital was lots of fun - I'd almost forgotten how much fun it was to perform with the sextet, and can't wait for more projects. At the moment, we might have a Lunchtime Concert at ACU lined up for next year - a lot of Mozart (as we did this year). And we're throwing up the possibilities and ideas of touring with the Mozart programme.

Concerts that week were also fun. St Matt's Prahan had a Violin-Viola extravaganza (with some piano thrown in as the orchestra!). And then rushed off straight after (I mean in the style of C giving me flowers, hug & kiss, then whispered "I'll see you next week!" and then ran out the door, down the road, and onto the train!). Got up to North Carlton to Gerald's Bar for some Schubert (hastily put together with our substitute clarinettist!). It went really well, and a few friends came, which was cool.

Had a few more rehearsals the next week, as well as two horn exams to play for, which were both great. Had lots of fun doing them! Then some page-turning 'gigs' - which was fun. And got to meet some cool people in the music industry, which is always cool. Met a couple of friends who were over in Melbourne for holidays - quite coincidental that I was free that day, and met them both! Went to recitals, practiced, hung out with friends. It was pretty cool.

Did the violin-viola extravaganza again, but at St Jude's in Carlton. Was much fun, though it was very tiring, as that day I went to and played at B & J's wedding in Weribee, which was just beautiful. Unfortunately couldn't go to the reception (which would have been very fun!) because of the concert that night, but that's cool - one definitely picks what they're going to do, I suppose!

Had Queen's Advent Service on Sunday ('wear a party frock' were the instructions, which A & I took seriously). It went really well, particularly as I had my first and only rehearsal for it that afternoon! Much fun. Profiteroles were delicious haha. And then rocked up to Prayer Meeting looking all dressed up, to be asked "Why do you look so nice?" Haha.

Monday involved some recital-going (in fact, four!!). It was great. And it's always fun to support your friends, and hear them play.
My own recital was yesterday. About 20 people came, which was cool. I kinda didn't expect that many people to come, even though I know I invited about 70 people! But it filled up most of Heinze Room, so that was a nice audience to play to. there were some parts of it (my recital) which I liked, some I didn't. But I'm taking Geoff's advice (considering he was one of my examiners!) that I wanted to come out of it feeling better than what I felt like going into it. I think I can say I am relieved it's over, but also a little sad that I don't have anything like that to practice for the immediate future (apart from you know, camp and AYO stuff, when I eventually get it!). I slept in this morning (something I haven't done for about the past three months!) which felt very luxurious and a little indulgent. And haven't touched piano at all today. Feeling a bit of withdrawal symptoms.

After exam, went to have some brunch and celebrate (fairly low-key!). Had to laugh at S's chai latte. Then spent the rest of the day, with A's amazing help, packing and moving out of my flat. I'm so glad I didn't do it before my exam - I think I would have gone mental! And probably hurt myself. But it took a very long time, and it was quite painful. But we finally did it. Thank you D, F and S, for letting me keep stuff at your places. And A, for your muscles and cheerful attitude throughout it all!

So, catching up with friends in these last few days, going to some recitals, chilling out, re-packing. Before I finally go home.....and will be separated from these Melbourne friends!
Thanks for another amazing year - I love you all, and really appreciate your friendship.
To another amazing year in 2009....

More coherant?

We'll see about that. But I'll try my best.
So, have had a couple of exams and am waiting till December for my final one. Seems like ages away - I hope I don't lose motivation.

Orchestration exam was as expected - I though pretty straightforward. It was one of the classes I had this year that had the majority of my friends in it (though admittedly, so did Prac, where Thursday Concert Classes were a bit of a time to catch up; as too was Chamber Music, though the division of the class into instrument groups didn't really allow for that much social interaction. Anyway). So there were a bunch of us, sitting all in one row. The exam was held in Theatre A in the Old Arts Building - if you don't know it, I must tell you that this is a lecture theatre where the desks are those flip-out ones that flip out from a row in front of you. Therefore, it is very difficult to get in and out of the seats in the middle of the rows. Which is exactly where I sat. Silly me, because I was pretty sure I wasn't going to stay for the two hours. I left with N after an hour and a quarter, and made life difficult for myself and the four or so people we eventually disturbed in order to get out of the exam. And the whole time, I was wondering whether I should do a fancy leap-over-the-rows act, or perhaps be thrown to the front of the theatre by some friends to make it out, while the lecturer looked at us bemusedly as we pondered how to get out without affecting a maximum number of people.

K's exam was the next day - went pretty well, it was fun to do. I suppose she was very relieved when it was over, as it was her last exam for this year! So well done on finishing, K!

Then had Macroeconomics exam on Thursday. This was the one I was dreading the most; it has been the subject giving me the most grief in terms of study, and perhaps all this semester, although that is a little hard to determine because I don't think that I worked hard for it at all this semester. Until Swotvac. It went ok, I think. I hope. Not really sure. I definitely studied my butt off for it. (Though my butt is still in place, thank you very much.) Not really sure how I did - you know when you do exams and you think you do ok, because you can answer pretty much almost everything with a little bit of confidence, but then afterwards you start talking to your friends and they start talking about specific questions and how they answered it and you have no idea what they're talking about - the concepts are ones you don't even recall, or possibly have never heard of. That's when I decided to leave and go home, because the exam was done, and I couldn't do anything else. Oh well. We'll just have to wait and see, won't we? I do hope I at least pass though, because it would be very painful if I had to do the subject again. Plus, I kinda don't want to have to spend another semester at uni, just doing commerce stuff. What a drag that would be!

It was good to get out on Thursday night to celebrate S's birthday - almost like a mini-post-exams party (though not really post-exams just yet). Furthermore, there was a BBQ the following night to celebrate P's birthday which was earlier in the week. So that was fun. There were a couple of people that were at both, but even not so - there were good friends at both that made both evenings much fun and relaxed and definitely what I needed following some intense study.

Had a pretty chilled weekend - some rehearsals, some relaxing (though how much of REAL relaxation, without thinking about much else is debatable), some business to sort out. All good.
Got called by J for my piano debut at church that night. It was cool. I've always had a bit of a *thing* about playing piano in church, particularly since starting uni. Much too long to get into here, but anyway. Bottom line, it was pretty cool. Still not sure where I'm going with it next year and stuff, but there's definitely lots to think about.

This coming week sees about eleven rehearsals in the diary. Yes, you read correctly. And performing of sorts five times. I'm not sure how my wrist is holding up - I don't want to do any damage, but let's say today it's not doing so well. I know it's something I have to be overly cautious about, and eleven rehearsals in one week definitely won't help it. So please remind me to take it easy, and to be very careful!

Now, if somebody could just tell me exactly when the new James Bond movie comes out in Australia. I feel really stupid, as I have in my diary 27 November as the release date, but read somewhere (probably wikipedia....haha) that it's been shifted forward a week to this Wednesday. But I can't, for the life of me, actually find the date. Please enlighten me.

Wow, I should really go eat dinner. I called my mother up at work this afternoon to ask how to cook that broccoli and egg thing that my uncle does. I would have called him, but thought my mum might appreciate it more. I think she was in a meeting or something. Either way, she was definitely laughing at me.

very brief update - in ten minutes of furious typing!

It is been almost a month since I blogged. Primarily because term four has been super-busy (more than usual...is that possible?) and also because about two weeks ago, my computer decided to kick it. So, not having the distractions of checking my email and facebook every two minutes, as well as not having the need to update the readers of this blog on my weekly happenings.

But this will probably be fairly short, with more updates (ie. the whole of the last four weeks!) to come later, probably at the end of this week.

Done lots of playing, which may be summarised as such:
*Concert Class - solo (woo!) and the Khachaturian trio (yay!)
*Concerto Comp with a few friends
*Chamber Music Comp
*Chamber Music tutes
*Chamber Music exams
*Apollo Concert (my last as Choir conductor!)
*Concert at Queen's
*Composition Concert
oh, and rehearsals here and there for all the above, plus more.
It's been fun :)

A couple of 21sts, one themed as a jazz night and the other as a Spanish Fiesta. Both were enjoyable. Good chance to catch up with some friends, party for the last time till after exams (hah)

Been organising some AYO stuff on my side, getting forms in, chasing up people and bits and pieces.

Figured out that my late-night study regime is actually quite good - as in, I study fairly well at night (particularly with no MSN open to distract me now!). But this is also a bad thing, because I work well in the early morning too. And can't *really* afford to sleep in the afternoon given that my body should get used to being awake in the afternoon due to exams in the afternoon. What I need is to be able to survive on NO sleep. Or perhaps just a little bit of sleep. But unfortunately, that is not the case. Oh well....

Okay, it is time to depart. More to follow, if it is necessary.....

So, term 4 really hit the ground running.
First day back, 8am tute. Nice. Lots of music-king, and I mean lots. In one day. Possibly 8am-4pm. Intense.
Rehearsals filled most of the first week, although it didn't feel like that many.
Didn't go to lots of other things, but probably a good thing.

Went for a long-awaited massage at the city baths on Saturday, courtesy of a bunch of friends who had pooled together for a very large group present (which amounted to a number of things including a couple of vouchers for massages at the baths) for my 21st birthday earlier this year. To sum it up, I was very loose but sore the next day.

This last week has been a week of soreness - apart from my back (which has been slowly recovering, though not all the knots are out...there's still some large ones!), a sore heel from practicing piano barefoot on a hard floor. That's my own fault. And the recovering wrist from an arm wrestle (silly idea on my part) which the massage did some good for. And a wonky knee on the other leg. I have to learn to take better care of myself. Particularly my back, which I neglect significantly.....

Had actually gone to the markets at 7am on Saturday morning - it was nice! Much fun. But I also kinda realised that I like going shopping by myself, largely. Or at least be at leisure to browse a bit. Didn't manage to go to the Chamber Music Australia/Melb Festival concert at BMW Edge that night, but I heard that it went well. Instead, at that time, I was at my own rehearsal, which was quite fun. Ended up eating dinner at about 8.20pm, and hung out with A, which was cool. Then came home to apparently work on my assignment. Which didn't work. I had done some work for it though, and J and I worked on it the next day. And admittedly, spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights working on it too, till late hours....which is why I really should be in bed now...haha

Anyway, this week has been (and is going to be, as it's not done!) a massive playing week. Played in Piano Class on Monday - I signed myself up about three weeks ago, because I was told that my pieces were well and truly ready to be masterclassed - my teacher gave me heaps of confidence when she said that. So, it was good to play for R, as he's very nice, and very helpful. It went ok - ppl told me afterwards that it sounded good, which I was a little surprised about, because I was so nervous! Oh well. The 3rd movt raced like anything, but that's why I have time before my exam to fix it, yeah?

More rehearsals this week, performances today in the Chamber Music comp - they both went ok - but approached from different sides for both trios. Oh well, we'll just see what happens. It was good to do, at the very least - getting performance practice, which is always a good thing. And an opportunity to work with some friends, which is often an enjoyable experience. Playing in Concert Class tomorrow - probably my last CC solo performance, and also with Kairos trio. I'm quite nervous about the Chopin, despite my teacher's reassurances (I asked if I could play it to her on Tuesday, but our times didn't match up, and she looked at me strangely and asked why I was so worried about it. Hah.) I'm a nervous solo performer...so hopefully there'll be lots of kind support tomorrow! It'll be the first time in 2 years that I've played solo in this class, but I am looking forward to it all. And that will be all the playing in Concert Class....it's kinda bittersweet!

K asked me last night "How are you going?" and as usual, I replied "Busy". But was there more to the question? She's very good at making me articulate things. And I realised that in the past two weeks, I didn't really spend time with anybody to just catch up. When I did, it was part of something else - mostly music rehearsals. I hope this is just a busy time and not a more regularly occurrence than occasionally - although I have a sneaking suspicion that it is more regular than I'd like to think. :(
This makes me sad. I do really love my friends' company - I suppose I have just been extra snowed under at the moment and so find it tight to do everything. But I think a lot about them, and often don't know how to just randomly, out of the blue, ask how it is all going without sounding so strange. But it's something I should endeavour to do more.
So, please forgive me for my absence of late, and if it seems like I haven't got time for you. I assure you that I haven't forgotten about you.
And please keep encouraging me re. relationships, and Strong Strong Love. Now there's something to be so thankful for!

Holidays....or not?

Since the last update, there have been some exciting things going on.
Had a 21st to go to, so had to go shopping for a group present. Having gone shopping for J's, I was keen to be the shopper (or one of them!). Plus, I hadn't really been shopping for a while, so I pretty excited. So, shopping day came. It was exciting. There were delays, text messages flying back and forth, some bad news, some assurance and finally, two surprises. It was great to get out and do some walking of this city, in and out of here and there, with two friends that I don't really spend that much time with outside of the usual contexts. So it was fun to hang out with them then. It took about five hours to shop for the present (!!) and we finally decided on a couple of things that we thought would go down well (on behalf of the group). Oh, and there were obviously the obligatory lunch and coffee breaks, as well as the visit-person-you-know-is-working-in-the-city-to-get-his-opinion break. It was very good.
So, what did I learn on that shopping trip?
Girls who wear strapless dresses can expect to be hitching their dress up all night.

Which is what I did that night at the party. Hah. Oh well.
It was a fun night, speeches were great, enjoyment was had. Funny/possibly inappropriate photos (which were not intended to be so) were taken, awkward moments ensued....all in great fun.

And that was to kick the two week mid-semester 'holiday' off. It was a great start.
To that 'holiday' (otherwise known as 'non-teaching period' - where students are still expected to do assignments, homework, study............hah)
Had fairly busy first few days of rehearsals, practice and general figuring out what work I actually needed to do. Then it was off to Ballarat I was! Was going to visit P (crossover a day with A), and then stay with P while Apollo Camp was also there. It was a most relaxing five days - took a bit of work up with me to try get a bit done. Of course, I didn't do any hehe. Instead, I slept quite a lot, watched movies with the girls, ate so very well, played games, went on a picnic, went on a drive to Daylesford where we spent a beautiful afternoon wandering in the shops and having chocolate sensations. Apollo did well - successful rehearsals, fun times, and a good concert. Now onto Pops.....

Coming back from Ballarat was a bit of a 'back to the smoky haze' experience - jumped on an earlier train so I could make it back in time for music that night; on the way, had to stop by the Con to pick up some new music to learn for the following week, stop by home to dump my stuff and grab a fiddle, then off to Jude's. All in an hour. Of course, the train was a little delayed. As were the trams. And then running into church like a headless chicken...yeah, good look.. :S It was a great session that night, particularly enjoyed playing the organ :D

So, this music I had to learn for that week that I picked up on Sunday night......
well, it was very much "back to business", hit the ground running style. Had an interview for NMC Arts Admin programme last week (I thought it went weirdly; they called about 20mins late, that can't be a good sign....., then had some curvy questions that I wasn't really sure about...anyway..) and I found out the results of all AYO programmes last week while I was in Ballarat. Let's say there was some nervous waiting (I'm glad we went to Daylesford that day!), frantic jumping around, furious forwarding of emails, answering phone calls etc.
And also I'd gotten calls to accompany for some masterclasses during MIFB. Which I agreed to, not knowing what I was getting myself into. I got myself into some hard music (only some, some easy), very quick learning, and playing with instruments I haven't before played with, and playing for some very esteemed musicians. It was cool.

So, this week, I've been doing four to five hour sessions every morning (from breakfast to lunch) of practice in the basement...quite bliss! Except for the whole 'basement' factor - no windows, no sunlight, just a piano and me. And then I found out last night that my exam isn't for another two whole MONTHS. I can afford to take a holiday between now and then! Anyway, there was much trombone music to learn! I don't think I've ever learnt so much (not necessarily easy) music in such short notice for such an event. Anyway, masterclasses were cool - didn't play my best in all of them, but it happens. I get over it, move on, keep going. Met some cool people, particularly the teachers who were all really nice (apparently that is the common theme with them all, apart from them being AWESOME!). Went to a Wycliffe Gordon jazz concert last night - totally HOT!!! It was probably one of the concerts I'll be raving about for a long time. I'm not sure if I can really express in the written word just how awesome it was; it probably needs some action and crazy hand movements and very fast talking on my part to capture maybe about half the excitement and awesome-ness that it was! Go on youtube to find some stuff of him. Totally cool.

Also had a half-birthday picnic yesterday in the Botanic Gardens. I hadn't ever been before, and they were just STUNNING. It was a perfect day for a picnic yesterday, the weather was gorgeous and it felt like a holiday. A few people came by at some point to join us, which was lots of fun. Definitely a really good excuse for a picnic. And a really good time at it!

So, it'll be back to semester again once this weekend is over...where did my holidays go? I felt like this week was very go-go-go (well, it was....) and I haven't rested quite so well. I did while I was away, but it's amazing what I push myself to once I'm back in the city. I think I need another holiday...

Anyway, some things are looking great, some other things are looking a little shaky. And some things we just have to wait and see what happens...

when you know things aren't as they seem...

Like driving for an hour out of Bendigo to come across a sign that says "Bendigo". We were about 7kms away. How did it happen? It was foggy, we didn't see signs, we didn't turn off.
At the very least, it was amusing. Particularly as we drove through Bendigo main street, approching it from the other side.

Long days prevailed through two weeks. Although I've slowly been shifting my practice over to uni. Which has been nice. Except for the fact that you have to sign up the previous week. And that it only opens at 8am and closes at 6pm. Plus there's a two hour limit.

Should have studied more for macro mid-semester. Am pretty sure I failed it. Probably only the second piece of assessment I have ever failed (the first being a diagnostic grammar test. I got a 50, which I thought was not so bad for somebody who's never studied grammar. And yes, the pass mark was 60. High standards are probably good standards, by and large..)
Anyway, going to be a nerd and re-do it, for myself.
So that I learn from it.

The couple of things that I felt were right included SepCon. Affectionately renamed "SexCon", it was a weekend to talk about relationships and everything that they may or may not entail. It was good to hear all the teaching again, and presented in such an honest and candid manner. Not that we didn't really already know the things that were taught - they were clarified, and we were told why we should or shouldn't do these things, and all from a Biblical perspective. The community over the weekend was also fantastic - I appreciated knowing that everybody was more than willing to engage in a real conversation, and were welcoming and accepting. There is much to think about as a result of the weekend and it's taking up a lot of brainspace that would otherwise be devoted to work, but I think this is something to consider very carefully.

Had a great music week (by and large). I was nervous about playing my entire programme through for my teacher by memory for the first time after being away (and therefore not practicing) all weekend. But I was determined to do it, so I could track my progress and see what I needed to work on. And she said two things that made me feel much lighter:
i) "I wish all my students played like you after not practicing for a weekend!"
ii) "You're at a stage where you could be three weeks before your exam." And it's about two months until my exams. So long as I don't peak too early....
So as a result, I have put myself down to play my pieces in Concert Class, as well as in Piano Class (masterclasses). And I just have to psyche myself up for it!
And then on Monday I think I came to a realisation about what I want to do after my undergraduate degree.
I have said for the past little while that I think I want to go into Music (and leave the Commerce for a rainy day, I think...) and hopefully do some more study. Wasn't sure where, or what exactly, or how, but I was pretty sure I wanted to pursue chamber music quite extensively.
So when Piano Class rolled around that afternoon, the guest teacher was the associate head of the keyboard department of the Royal Northern College of Music.
Who took the class - I was quite tired initially but I started waking up to all the things she said, which were quite amazing. And then after the class, I wanted to ask her questions about RNCM's programmes. I was introduced to her by K, who said some nice things about me (although I'm not sure if I deserved them all...) and was told that RNCM is one of the best schools in the world for my desired area of study. And not that I believe in fate in the way that it is usually quite flippantly tossed around, but I can't see why it isn't some happy coincidence that I applied to RNCM for undergraduate, was accepted, but couldn't go (due to it being terribly expensive, with little funding for international undergraduate students, particularly from Australia), but instead ended up in Melbourne where my studies in music have been quite well nurtured, and some amazing opportunities presented. Including now meeting this woman who was able to tell me about this school that I really didn't have much idea about even when I applied.
So, I would see RNCM as a serious possibility, and not sure how that will work out. But we'll see. Just one of the ideas I've had recently.

Opposite to that has been some greater disillusionment with some other things of life recently. I suppose that's not completely surprising, I've been over it since 2006. It kinda goes through phases though. And this is one of those times it's definitely on the downswing, probably not the best time for it given that emotions often play a large part in my decisions, but such decisions probably shouldn't be swayed so much by emotions, in the whole scheme of things.

I've given myself six ways to put into practice some of the key things I learnt from the weekend. And told a few close friends to keep me accountable to them. I think they're definitely some things that should take up brain space as they're very important.

Been weirded out by myself and moodes recently, but I think that's just me, going through phases. Hopefully some things turn for the better. I'm trying so hard not to disappoint myself with some things.

I'm not dead...yet!

Sorry about how morbid the title of this post is, but it probably captures best how the last two weeks have progressed.

After the Mozart concert, I thought I could have a rest. I was so mistaken.
It really was only rest from so much Mozart!
There was orchestra that following weekend - the intensive rehearsals. Admittedly, the celeste doesn't really have parts that could be labelled 'intensive', but of course, I still had to go. At least I got my reading done in the times I wasn't playing!

Again, I was told that the part had to be an octave lower. Again, I protested that the instrument didn't go that low. Then it was explained to me how we were going to solve the problem. So, I suppose I still am one of those few people who have told Sir Barry Tuckwell he's not talking sense. But it all worked out in the end.

Orchestra concert went ok, unfortunately the orchestra didn't play as well in rehearsals, which was a bit of a disappointment. Some things went well, some others didn't. It happens. Oh well. Some friends came along, which was cool!

Several rehearsals during the week, with three different soloists. Two were preparing for a competition on the weekend, 20 mins worth of music each. Some pieces easier than others...both at fairly short notice!

I keep scheduling things back-to-back. Which may account for business. And then when people try to re-schedule because things have come up, it is very difficult. For this, I feel bad. But at the moment, I think that's just how my life works. So, having rehearsals and meetings and classes back to back made me eat funny during the last two weeks - meals not in their regular times and what not. Very strange...
particularly as my day definitely is sign-posted with my meals. Sometimes you just forget about being hungry because you need to do things.

A got sick, which was unfortunate. And then wasn't sure whether he was going to compete on Sunday or not. It was all a little like being on call, ready to spring into action or just to do nothing. Either way, it was a bit of a waiting game. And I don't particularly like waiting, so it was pretty interesting to see how it all fared.

Met with W for breakfast, which was nice. Haven't seen her in a while. We talked for a while, caught up on all the news and thought about the future. Scary, but cool. Unknown but ready to face it and see what happens.

Went to T's 21st birthday celebration on Saturday night. It was cool to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a while. (This seems also to be a trend..) Good times. Painful shoes. I don't really learn from the pain caused by my shoes, because I'll wear them again....
Must have sounded very drunk when B took me home. Was not. I realise I don't really hold any drink of any sort, but surely a few sips of champagne would not have done anything. I think I was just delirious in general. Probably not the best state though!

Woke up early Sunday morning (I seem to be losing sleep-ins on the weekends...unfair!). Was waiting on confirmation or not about competition times. Got a 'I'm doing it' from A more than half an hour in advance (yay!) so was whisked fairly quickly to Hawthorn.
Drama occurred when the adjudicator didn't show up. Just didn't. They tried to ring lots of people, who all said that they were unavailable. Fair enough, considering they wanted them to be in within the hour!
They eventually found one in Andrea Katz who happened to be there, accompanying a string player. What luck.
So, we played about half an hour to forty minutes after our scheduled time. It was at the very least, amusing.
Rushed home. Wasn't sure why....I should have just stayed in Hawthorn, because then I had to come back out an hour and a half later for J. I haven't been thinking logically much these past couple of weeks either. Or I alternate through phases of clarity and confusion. Go figure...

Then realised that the Macroeconomics assignment that was due the following week was actually really hard. Uh-Oh. I will not leave things to such late notice again!!! Admittedly, we did hand it in online with 17hrs to spare. I'm one of those people who will finish it the night before, even if I have to stay up. But in all honesty, I've only ever stayed up to about 2.30am at the latest finishing an assignment. Yes, I'll admit, I am a nerd. A goody-two-shoes. So sue me.
Anyway, that was after having several group meetings to discuss the problems. Oh, having friends in economics is good; it seems weird, because I wouldn't immediately think of having so many friends in commerce over music. But yes, we have a group of five. It's nice :)

Had a tute with H with Kairos Trio, which was really good. Very helpful. Very ambitious schedule, but I think that's just the pressure we need.
Scuttled around on Wednesday, which included going to Medley Hall to play for the pre-formal dinner musical item with H. That went well. And I figured out I knew about 10% fo the population at Medley. Admittedly though, that is really only six people. Still...

Thursday morning: really felt the pinch of 'about to die' syndrome. That one that is brought on by extreme stress, overwork, lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion. So I had to cancel something (shock horror!) which was kinda disappointing, because I had wanted to see II for a while, and that was the only night I could go. But oh well, something's got to give, and that was the thing I decided could be let go. Had some urgent things to take care of, so there were about 10 text messages that morning from about eight different people. I felt loved but so dependant on my phone that morning! Again, was picky in Concert Class. People must hate my comments....I write essays on a lot of people telling them why their performance wasn't as succesful as planned. Even though I know almost all of those things are criticisms of myself.
Had vla trio rehearsal, with new repertoire. Sounded not bad for the first time. Probably sounded better than us plugging away at Francaix. P said it sounded good. To which I said "Ask M how long we've had it for." M: "About one week."
Not a bad attempt....
Not going out to watch II was probably a good thing that night - it means that I got to actually sit down and finish this assignment in a timely manner. Plus, get to bed at a fairly decent hour. Handy that, and very muchly needed. I did however, go out for about an hour to do some filming. I was a replacement in the kid-and-dad scene for the Love Actually themed SepCon promo video. I kept forgetting lines. But about five takes later, we had the one we really liked.
'Could you guys sit closer together?'
'Mmm, yeah, we have issues about that. Intimacy issues.'
'That's why we're going on SepCon.'
'Oh I see. To create the intimacy issues. And then resolve them. I see.'
Muchos fun.

Busy Friday, trekked all over uni and Carlton! Was at uni for 8am. Was going to be at M's audition to 11.30. But then there was a mix-up, and one of the panel wasn't there, so we had to reschedule. You remember what I said about me putting things back to back, making it very difficult to reschedule? Prime example.
Anyway, managed to do so, had to be late to something else, but that wasn't a huge drama.
Trekked across campus for class. Back across campus for rescheduled audition.
Found out that I missed Bartok contrasts in the class that I skipped (I don't normally!!) to attend original audition time. Poo bum. Oh well. What can you do?
Trekked to Carlton gardens to meet J, J and K for picnic lunch, as it was J's birthday. Had a lovely time relaxing, though admittedly was a little stressed, because it was instead of our trio rehearsal, and our next tute is in two weeks' time. Eeek! (Remember, I'm also paranoid!)
Anyway, then trekked for some more filming for promo video. Tried very hard not to laugh. Even though it was all in Spanish, and I couldn't really understand it all. There were those words that stuck out, and knowing what it actually said was kinda hard.
Did it one take, we were that good :)
Trekked back to uni to meet J to write a speech for the following night (J's 21st party)
Had much fun doing it. Got to sign up for basement rooms (scoring brownie points with L for helping).
Trekked back across uni to meet S to head to Chinatown for dinner.
Had too many bags, but what can you do?
Scored more points than S for knowing more people out that night. Hehe.
Stopped into Connect. Probably not the best idea, even though it was very good. Got home much later than anticipated....about 10.30 or 11.
Common theme: housemate not awake when I leave house. Housemate sometimes in room before I get home. Therefore, Housemate and I don't even see each other. Wow. Really though, it works quite well, living-wise.
Had to re-write speech and what not. Took a while. Got to bed at 1am. Bad idea.

So, P: "Well, if you die, at least we'll learn from it."
I hope so.
Said in context, it made complete sense. Said almost flippantly, to the general public, it sounds so bad! But it's pretty funny.

Went shopping for J's present on Saturday morning/afternoon. Much fun picking it all out!
Drove to Bendigo to attend the 21st party. Muchos fun.
Anyway, I'm running out of steam right now....
perhaps we'll leave stories from that till another time.....

The Magic of Mozart

Probably one of the most exciting projects I've worked on. Although admittedly, I get excited quite easily. But this was probably one of the most exciting concerts I've ever done.
It probably ranks up there with the Shell Youth Orchestra when I was 12, as well as the 2000-and-something CAS concert with John Bates conducting. Though I hope I haven't offended anybody now by not mentioning that project I did with them. I truly cherish and am thankful for all the opportunities I've had.
But this one is quite unique, in that this concept is not overly complex, but nobody else really in this city of this calibre (at such an age) is doing this sort of thing. So that makes it differentiated.

The audience yesterday at the hospital was appreciative and larger than expected.
The audience today at Trinity were captivated and rightfully so!
Thank you to the friends who came - I really appreciate your support and it was fantastic to play for you. For those who couldn't make it, another time, another time....
The creepy though amazing Domine Deus was phenomenal; the introspectiveness of the Recordare; the excitement, confusion and drama of the sextet; working on each of your solos...
To the sexy sextet, I love you guys. It was an honour and pleasure to work with you - I look forward to our next project, but remember, give me plenty of notice!

So, now that Mozart is over (well, for the sexy sextetters so far...), there are other projects to look forward to. First up is HM (MSV) comps with J and A - lots of very quick learning!
And I am very enthusiastic about working on the Brahms second cello sonata.
Of course, trios are there too, should be lots of fun!
Next year is already partially planned - it includes the Beethoven or Mozart quintet (perhaps both?!?!) and possibly the Janacek septet (just for fun!). I'm looking forward to it already!

I know, you're thinking "What? Two posts in one week? What is she doing???" but I am probably missing something right now......but in my defence, I am on duty tonight which requires me to be on call until midnight - so no rest for the wicked, though somebody told me "and less for the righteous"!

Just caught up on reading W's blog - wow, I have missed a lot! But glad to catch up on it all. Admittedly, it is my own doing that my friendship groups at any given time tend to centre on what I'm working on at the moment. This is definitely one of my weaknesses. With every intention of maintaining everything else, I have unfortunately not. And for that I apologise.

One question I have is.......do you, the reader, find this blog boring?
Is there anything you'd like to see on here? I would appreciate comments of all sorts (though perhaps leave the offensive out) - perhaps pose some questions or suggestions? Those I deem appropriate to address might make an appearance. I suppose I read other people's, and they seem far more interesting than mine, which range from ramblings on all sorts of things, vague thoughts, ventings, recounts of extended periods of time (due to busy-ness!), reviews of stuff (when I can be bothered...)

I need a Holiday

Somehow, I'm at Sunday having somewhat survived week three.
I didn't think this early in semester I'd have:
* those doubts about Commerce (yet! They usually only happen at Swotvac/exam period when it's too late!)
* so many rehearsals
* so much going out
* so little organisation (contrary to the usual me, I suppose)

It's been a busy three weeks, largely taken up by rehearsals of sorts. And going to uni, trying to figure it all out. There have been a few changes, such as Chamber Music, trying to decide which Macro tute I should really be in (the tutor I really want takes two tutes that I can't attend), new projects to embark on, friendships to cultivate in the rest of this year.

Since the last post there has been:
* one excursion to San Churro
* two 21st birthday parties I've been to
* one 21st birthday party I have missed
* one 22nd birthday breakfast
* one massive Olympics Opening ceremony dinner and party!
* one flight to Perth
* twenty-five and a half hours in Perth
* one concert which included me as part of five of the seven musical items
* one flight back to Melbourne
* one accompanying lesson
* one Music Ball
* nineteen rehearsals (yes, you read correctly)
* one chamber music competition
* one engagement party
* one Vision Launch

anyway, so that's the somewhat brief summary.

To elaborate a bit more on some of the above.....

I got a call from the Uni Orchestra manager(s) to play the celeste in the orchestra. This is a BIG DEAL for me, as there is usually only one keyboard player in the entire orchestra, and only if the piece includes one. And prior to this, there have been others ahead of me in the 'pecking order'. I've really wanted to do orchestral piano for a while, so this is it, with the uni orchestra! Of course, I said yes (even though I knew it meant more rehearsals) but the pieces are pretty cool, and the amazing Barry Tuckwell is conducting the orchestra. If you need to find out on Wikipedia who Barry Tuckwell is, please do, and you will understand why I couldn't bring myself to say no. Of course, the rehearsal didn't go well - I've never played a celeste before, it's a totally different experience, and it's exposed because it's got such a unique tone.

Played in the MSV Chamber Music Comp - we didn't come first or second, but we did get a prize, and encouragement prize with the reward of some MSO tickets. It's actually quite good - the monetary value is quite significant, and in this format, we are 'forced' to go to the MSO - which none of us go quite as much as we really should given that we are music students, musicians and possibly aspiring to be professional musicians.

Went home (yes, that's HOME) for 25.5hrs to play in a farewell concert for the now-retired deputy principal. It was amazing seeing old teachers again - I suppose when one is a student, we often tend to become a little alienated by our teachers, and forget that they're real people too! But it was so lovely to see them all again. The concert went well, I had a lovely time and really enjoyed working with those people. Kind words were said, which of course brought tears to mum's eyes - so too my playing, I think, because my family haven't really heard me perform (that is, rather than practice at the end of semester where I'm done with my pieces, or at the beginning of a semester where it sounds horribly painful while trying to learn notes) for about three and a half years, since moving away for university.

Mozart Miscellany stuff is going well, just lots of it. And I suppose rehearsals with six different people, plus a few more for the combined stuff just adds up. Theoretically, I was totally fine with playing about an hour's worth of Mozart for the concert - I expected this when I agreed to it. But realistically, I didn't really have any idea of how much music there was! I am really enjoying it, don't get me wrong, and I wouldn't say I bit off more than I could chew but it definitely is a lot. I'm finding working with the six very interesting - I suppose I didn't really know what to expect from each of them, having not worked with five of them individually. But it's been really fun - I said last year, "I'm really scared of singers....let alone six of them!" but it's been amazing. Went to Vocal Ensemble to workshop one of the duets, which was good.

The week gone by has been particularly bad - flying in on the red-eye wasn't particularly helpful. Nor was the lack of motivation to practice, and extreme tiredness and onsetting illness (long overdue....and just hanging around my eyes, ready to bear down on me once I stop doing stuff). Averaging two to three rehearsals each day for the past week has been quite intense - leaving not much time for my own sitting down for myself at the instrument. In all of this, I have become less organised (than usual), forgetting things, accidentally double booking, not replying to emails, not being myself, and generally not as happy and enthusiastic about everything as usual. There was the putting-off of thinking about more than 24hrs in advance, so transportation for getting to things was only organised at short notice. My email had been hacked/spammed and I had email troubles one morning, as it wouldn't let me send any more emails (to apologise) so that was a bad morning. Then there was the printing issues and not-understanding the material in lectures that added up and made me doubt why I was still in the subject. So for my down-ness and general not-feeling-myself; I apologise to those close to me who haven't been encouraged by this, and to those not as close who might have perceived me as unfriendly and closed. Perhaps next week when the massive concerts are over I will become less focussed on just one project at a time and bounce back in, me-style.

Eleven Hours

...is technically the number of contact hours I have this semester.
In my defence, it is three and a half subjects worth, having done four and a half last semester. (So we'll just credit my good planning hey?)
It was done for a reason......namely that I can have lots of time to practice for my Final Solo Recital, as well as lots of chamber music activities.
Piano itself takes at least 20hrs a week. So, that's more 'homework' for one subject than I go to uni for. I won't even mention the rest of the subjects.
Then there's the other projects, which aren't really 'for' uni per se, but uni is the reason they exist. Plus, they're good for me.

I've only been in Melbourne four days. And already it feels like much longer.

I've only just finished two days of uni for semester two. And I don't even know how I'm going to get through this week.
Let alone the rest of semester...

F: "G, I don't know how you can be so busy, but still have time to go out so much."
I don't know either....



"He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it." - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Time flies

So, I made it through results coming out. Quite pleasantly so.
And I'm proud to report (besides my Technical Exam, as well as Chamber Music, as practice for that must be done in isolation, bar Chamber Music being with other people) that the communal study in Baillieu and Brownless must have worked, because that mark came out quite well! Compared to the one I thought I would fail, it was significantly higher. Must have been the people I was studying with :P Hehe. But don't worry, I didn't fail anything!

I have enjoyed chillaxing at home for the holidays. Three weeks is nearly up, and I haven't seen everybody I wanted to (okay, all of these are at least my fault..), caught up on as much sleep, done enough piano practice, planned enough for semester 2. Oh well. This happens all the time - why should I be so surprised?

So, you ask, what have I done?
Well, I got to spend some time with the family, which was good. This is when they're not all at work. This whole three-income household is good, I suppose, but also not very at the same time.
Went shopping several times to try capitalise on these end of financial year sales. It wasn't terribly successful, but I did do some shoe shopping. Not enough, but maybe it'll just take a longer time to find the right pair...

Disappointed I missed a Melbourne Adventure (wow, that's what we should call it!!!), finally they made it to Blue Train hehe. But on the flipside (also because you know, it was a little difficult to make it just for dinner..), I did have another dinner with another group of friends - the Perth-Melbourne traitors. It was much fun. We ended up playing Pictionary (probably my favourite board game!) which was amusing. Gee, A is competitive, though he did warn us haha. But it was fun. Then M had to leave because he had to be home in time to pack before he flew out to Melbourne that night. Hehe - hardcore, going out the same night that you fly out of town!

Have been organising a few things for the St Mary's August concert, (re-)learning some repertoire, organising money stuff and making sure all the arrangements are in place. Wow, August is filling up very quickly - weekends are getting booked very quickly, and I'm struggling to be able to confirm things that happen two weeks in advance, despite me being picky about booking well in advance! But we'll see how we go.

My timetable looks ok. I still have uni every day (I don't think that first semester/1st year freedome of two days off a week is ever going to happen again..!) - but it only amounts to about 13hrs of class. So, there are gaps here and there for coffee dates, rehearsals, practice, running around, meeting people, going places (to do uh...work-related stuff!). But hopefully lots of work will just be done during the week meaning those weekends are totally cool to do those fun things that have been booked in already!

Have quite a few exciting projects coming up (and by 'project', I usually mean musical..). I'm again collaborating with a few (several, perhaps more) people on several projects, which should be exciting. When concert dates/performances come up, I shall keep you posted (let me know if you'd like to be included on the email out).

I am very excited about getting back to Melbourne (my mum says it's because there's parties all the time haha), and seeing you folk again. But I have enjoyed being at home, relaxing. There is a certain element of removing oneself geographically that makes me anxious for about two days, and then really relaxed after that. It's nice :)

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I will stop now for fear of making you readers bored. Ciao!

I'm Alive!

Funnily enough, I made it through exams. I think so anyway. I guess now I just wait to see how they went. But for now, I can breathe easy.
The last week of exams almost torturous, largely because I didn't really do much music, and studied hard-core for International Trade Policy. I did go to a few recitals of some friends, which were a welcome break between study. Also had dinner with some friends, which was lots of fun (with carrot in the lasagna!), and delicious pudding.
Also went to a revision session, which turned out to be really helpful - one of the things I didn't previously understand (that somebody from my tute explained to me) came up on the exam, and I could write about it! So that was pretty lucky!
The actual exam went surprisingly well, I think (I hope!). When I read through the paper during reading time, I felt pretty confident that I could answer every question. So, doing the actual exam didn't kill me (phew!). Well, I suppose we shall wait and see how I did...
That night, I went out with F, K, T & S to the Docklands to see the Ignite fire show. It was pretty cool. And very nice of them, considering that two of them had exams the next day, one had to finish off the last essay and the other one had to work the next day! So thank you guys, for hanging out with me! S also joined us prior to that, where we had Vina Bar for dinner...mmmm....Vina Bar.......

Finally had a rehearsal/catch-up session with A on Friday (already postponed twice for various reasons, oh well). It was fun. Though possibly not very good because I had hardly practiced all week! So, tragic on my part. But we read through quite a lot of music (some funny stuff too! I joked, though not entirely untrue, that he could release a CD of obscure, unearthed musical treasures/miniatures for the instrument). Decided to keep some, ditch some. We'll see what happens. I suggested that we play every week in Concert Class, just a 3-minute or so piece every time (a new one) just so we could every week. It'd be funny. And yeah, we'd get lots of exposure, but not for very long periods of time. It could work!

On Friday night I volunteered for the opening concert of the 3MBS Chamber Music Feast. It was lots of fun! Basically, it was Z's idea and brought together the Who's Who of chamber music in melbourne (bar the Tin Alley Quartet, I think they are overseas....), in a celebration of chamber music across one weekend, and combining and 'sharing' players from various ensembles to perform. The opening concert was a surprise, the audience unaware of the programme until the actual concert; each piece was accompanied by a wine that was chosen to complement the music, which were little snippets (ie. one movement usually) showcasing a selection of the ensembles that played across the weekend. I was supposed to be one of the ushers/wine severs, but got roped in to page-turn! This turned out to be quite exciting, I mean, being on stage with these awesome ensembles and being part of it. And yes, page-turning can be a fairly stressful job (I know lots of musicians who don't enjoy it because it's so much pressure!), but I do enjoy it quite a lot.
One of the funniest things I heard that night went a bit like this:
S: Is somebody page-turning for me?
me: Yes, I am.
S: Oh, ok, great. Hang on, what was your name again?
me:
S: Oh, ?
me: yes, that's me
S: I've heard lots about you! [Please note that we have met before, but I suppose he knows lots of people, so it's understandable that he wouldn't remember me].
me: [give funny look....]
S: I've heard you play very well!

Wow. People like him don't talk to people like me...! So I suppose I should take that as a compliment. Maybe things are going well, and maybe I am going ok....!

Anyway, it was a fun night, and just the thing I needed to spur me to practice again. And realise how much I enjoy music, particularly chamber music.

Went to Tassie the next evening.

Wow. Tasmania is BEAUTIFUL! If you want photos, you know where to look.....
The adventures of Doggy, Boggy, Licorice Legs/Juke, Darth and the girls were much fun. Keywords: Cows, rainbows, winding roads, poo.
We visited lots of great sights in NW Tasmania, went for great walks here and there (which may or may not have involved me being carried up the mountain by S because I couldn't do it myself..... :( ) There was chocolate and cheese to be had, poo to be stepped on, a huge bonfire to get warm (hot) by, games to be played, puzzles to be done, and that's just part of the fun we had.

Came back safe and sound, to an empty though welcome apartment. Had a late dinner with A to which F came along too; it was great to see her and retell our adventures!
Flew home the next night; A drove me to the airport, which was very kind of her.

Anyway, so now I am on the west side of the country, enjoying my holidays at home. getting sleep (now I think I only have a 52hr sleep debt!) and some practice done as well (only a 18hr practice debt now!).

a funny week

Went to Geelong last Saturday night, after a rehearsal that afternoon. The rehearsal went well, but we didn't want to exhaust K too much. Went to her parent's house first, hung out there for a little while, then the drive to Geelong..which wasn't so bad. Turned up to St J's early, which I kinda like. Had a little play; hung out for a while, met a few new people. We were announced out of order. That was weird......but we went on anyway. We were going well, but then the cadenza came, and there was some memory lapse. Oh well, these things happen. It's just what we learn from it, and how we learn to react. She wasn't too shattered by it, which was good. Although I think it would have been nice to get through to the next round. But that's ok. Like I maintain, it's about what we learn from it. How to improve for next time, and the time after that and after that; repeat ad libitum. We went out in Geelong that night with her parents and A and T (I finally met him! Yay!). I had been craving lemon meringue tart for about two weeks (in which I told K I had been for those two weeks), so we shared one. It just hit the spot. It was a lovely little place; if I came from Geelong, I think it would be a delightful venue for a 21st...! Or some other party....anyway, drove back to Melbourne that night, it was a pretty long day. But fun nevertheless. :)

We had two tables worth of people last Sunday night. It was most impressive.
And the person who's always gunning to break the record wasn't even there, poor thing..!

Then it was time to knuckle down for Micro study. I mean, I had already started studying for it and all, but Monday was the last day to cram it all in. I made some sense of it, I think. Well, it certainly felt like it before the exam. The exam was....HARD. I think everybody found it hard. Oh well, it's over, and there's nothing I can do about it now, is there? But I'm winging it on i) part marks for working/effort etc. ii) lots of people who don't know much about Micro. Right?

Had a rehearsal after the Micro exam. After stopping by the shops, of course (it's all about multitasking! Like now, studying for International Trade Policy, and blogging, and listening to Glenn Gould!). We were all pretty buggered, although I think I was the least so, even though I'd just exhausted my brain with an exam! Oh well. I was pretty excited that Micro was over, so that I could 'enjoy' the rest of the week of other high-pressure activities involving piano. Still enjoyable.

Went to the joint farewell party of H/G/D/V/A. It was much fun. And it was nice to see a whole bunch of Med friends that I hadn't seen in a little while. Good just to hang out with a cool bunch of people and enjoy their company. It's sad...I won't be seeing a bunch of them for a while; some are going overseas, some will be more busy/less time to devote to things like Apollo. :(
I have appreciated their contributions, and probably more touching, their friendship. I often think about my role in Apollo, and even though I head up the choir in an official role, becuase I'm about their age, I sometimes feel more like a friend rather than their director. Feels a little weird sometimes, but it's also a good thing.

Had a recording session on Wednesday for my AYO application. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but it was an interesting experience to do anyway. We'll see. I'm not incredibly hopeful of going to Adelaide over the summer, but I suppose I can only wait to find out the result. And yeah, there is only.....one pianist in an orchestra. The odds to start off with are fairly slim...
But I felt so privileged, I could have picked between the two Steinways on offer. That's not a luxury most people my age get....!
Worked that night at Melba (back to the Con!), at the Impressaria concert, which was fun. If there are jobs that I do like (that don't pay that well in comparison to playing piano), they'd preferably have something to do with music that I do enjoy. :) It's pretty exciting....

Had my tech exam on Thursday, which went alright. It was just super-loud, because the piano was. And the walls are thin. So the guy next door was playing a sombre Bach while I played scherzino-like Chopin, as well as dramatic Chopin. Must have been an interesting mix..! I thought in the middle of it, "Hang on, why aren't you nervous? This is the bit you have to concentrate extra on!" I hate having those dialogues in the middle of performances.....! But my examiner was really nice, he just let me do my own thing in my own time. The distracting part was when he was writing: I could hear the pen, but wasn't sure whether they were good or bad comments..! Gah...Oh well, that was a fairly non-traumatic exam, phew!

Went out that night with the girls for dinner, which was lovely. We haven't hung out all together in a while, we mostly do it in sub-groups, but you know, that happens. cool.
Then watched a movie at home (About a Boy, haven't seen that in ages...) which was amusing at the very least...!

Had chamber music exam yesterday. Now, this requires a bit of explanation.....
Practiced a bit in the morning. Then had to go to the shops to buy a ribbon to wear that afternoon. Thought I might do a bit of supermarket grocery shopping at the same time. I asked my housemate if she thought I was weird for "going to the shops even though I have an exam this afternoon". She replied with "Well, it means that you're pretty damn ready". Which I was. And also, chamber music is a group effort, yeah?!
We met for lunch, then warmed up. Left PLENTY of time to get there. Like, 45mins.
And one of the examiners was late. Because the office had told her that her lunch break was from 1-2pm, rather than 1-1.40pm. So the group that was scheduled to be at 1.40? They were pushed back till 2pm. Which was our time.
And the most amazing thing was that so many people turned up! I knew we'd invited 111 people (at last official count), and I knew some people were coming, but I didn't expect that many people to actually turn up! So, because we were running late, most people also watched the quintet before us (which they were very appreciative of, the audience I mean..).

Most chamber music exams and groups are lucky if they have five people (besides the two examiners) come and watch and listen.


We had about

THIRTY.

It was massive. It was like the size of the audience at the end of a super-long Concert Class that has run overtime.

It was so exciting. I was blown away. And I'm glad some people could make it, because i) some of my friends hadn't seen me play piano (even if they theoretically knew that I did...) ii) some people were very busy and took time out to come see us iii) some had never been to the Con/Melba for a performance.

I was listening to a (fairly good!) recording J's parents made from the performance.....and yeah, it was interesting hearing us play (I always have this thing where after a performance it tends to blur a bit in my mind), but the most heart-warming part was that at the end, there was a significant amount of people who applauded! Like a real audience! Unlike the awkward applause you get when there's only two people in an audience! It was so exciting.

Anyway, that was the chamber music exam. I was exhausted after it, because it's a fairly large work that needs a lot of energy. Which we gave. We went to Deep Dish afterwards to have something to eat and drink (muchly needed!) with some of our posse, which was fun. Then went out last night for dinner with the trio and some associated friends, which was lots of fun. And good to eat out! Which is kinda what I've been doing all week, but anyway.....Then had a rehearsal that started at 9.30pm. I know, weird, but it was the only time the majority of us could be there...I went home pretty tired all up.....

then today I had the funniest gig so far (ever?!)
See, on Wednesday, I ran into my teacher at the Con, and we were talking about all sorts of things, such as the fact that she was on the panel for YPA in Brisbane last week. And about the playing of those people. And how I'd sent her a message that she was quite touched by. And how she was in the middle of replying to me, but got distracted by her daughter...! (she even went into her drafts message folder to show me...!) And then after the recording, she saw me again, and complained that I didn't pick up my phone (It was on silent! I was recording..!) but asked me this weird set of questions...:
"what are you doing friday night?"
"Do you know melbourne storm?"
"do you read chords?"

Anyway, the gist was that a singer had called her up to play for her, as this singer had been asked to sing some pre-show entertainment at the Melbourne Storm (vs. Nth Qld Cowboys) match this evening at Olympic Park. Yes, that's right, classical musos at the rugby league. I had to laugh. So, I was picked up and taken to Olympic Park, was given a backstage pass (woo!), and then taken through to the changerooms. Then we had a soundcheck; we were positioned up on the little stage just in front of the field, set up with the sound system and what not. It was pretty cool. We were well looked after, there was plenty of food and drink; we were in the changerooms with the cheerleaders and mascots, whereupon I tried to study for International Trade Policy. A wanted to take a photo to send to my mum to show her that I was actually studying, and not just going out! (And just for the irony of the situation and all...!) We did get a photo with the Storm mascot though, which was pretty cool (we should have gotten one with Boom as well...). I felt pretty special, being led through by those management people who were called on to look after us (those ones with microphones and headpieces), and what not. And being taken to the corporate suite and all. I was amazed at how much detail goes into such an event (one football match..!), the timing of everything was down to the last minute (I kid you not..!), and everything rolls with all this communication in earpieces.
Anyway, much fun was had. The rest stayed to watch the match from the Corporate Suite, but I wanted to meet some friends for dinner, so I nicked off. Admittedly, I did need somebody to show me where to go; she was really nice, walked me out and showed me directions there, and gave me her number just in case I got lost (listed as 'Help' in my phone....!).

We met up, but wandered around Southbank for the longest time trying to find somewhere to eat! The lesson we learn from this is just to stick to the original plan.....or otherwise, just decide on something and wait. Particularly on a Friday or Saturday night, because everywhere is going to be busy. The thing that really struck me was that Melbourne is really busy on the weekend! I knew this was the case, but every so often, I see it again....particularly at restaurants. I see why they say it's Australia's food capital. As well as the shopping capital. And cultural captial. and Sporting capital. And piano city......haha is there anything Melbourne doesn't want to claim?
Anyway, we finally got food, wandered around a little more. Wanted to get cake. Then wanted to go get hot chocolate.
It was all a little complex, and we DEFINITELY learnt about sticking to decisions, and that we are all pretty indecisive. (remember, I sometimes make decisions for myself; I can fairly easily make decisions for other people though...!)

It was a fun night, even if it did involve much walking, hunger pangs and much indecisiveness. Oh well. :)
Maybe one time we'll actually get to go up Eureka tower....

right, I should be studying for International Trade Policy.....it's the last exam (finally!) but I don't quite know what's going on, and based on my mid-semester, I think I need to study a LOT..!!!

Hermit Mode

Hermit Mode probably describes me best during SWOTVAC and Exams. Because I usually hole myself up in my room, in a practice room, or in the library trying to study (ie. cram) for exams.
But of course, not before the conclusion of the semester brings a flurry of appointments, deadlines, people to see, things to do and other busy-ness.
It would probably be fair to say that most of May (and I suppose, most of the semester) was like that.
A brief run-down of May/early June so far (which hasn't already been alluded to, hopefully):
7 performances (of varying sorts...)
1 camp
5 dinner appointments
3 birthday parties (I didn't make it to two)
1 return trip in the Wiggles van
1 church camp
1 ushering job
2 microeconomics assignments
1 minimalism assignment
2 exams (oh, there are 4 more to go...)
2 lessons with another piano teacher
3 chamber music tutes
1 musical theatre show
1 MSO concert
1 AYO application
2 AYO excerpts
2 AYO excerpts with errors

It has been an interesting month or two of late.
I swing between being unenthusiastic, indifference, to musing about random things, to psyched up about various things. It doesn't make sense to me.

The state of my room has degraded to the floor space being taken up by books, files and previous days' newspapers. Not that the state of the room started out at a very neat level but it was the intention. I haven't even started studying for ITP just yet (it's on the 26th) - and I know I'm not very good at it. It will take MUCH revising and reading......
Just like Microeconomics. I really am not enjoying commerce as much as I thought I would. I thought a few years ago, that I just had to get through that year, because I was taking pre-requisite subjects, compulsory subjects, and that it'd be better in the near future because then I could take things I really wanted to take. But now I'm taking subjects to fulfill a major requirement. I'm not sure it's what I expected.
And the things I really want to take centre around Music, particularly playing as much piano as possible, and other practical activities. With a healthy smattering of techniques (including orchestration and the like) and history.

I've been listening to much 'classical' music lately, out of choice. I always listened to a lot. But now I'm choosing the things I listen to, when I study. Or want to have something to listen to. Am I getting too involved?!

I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't really know where I'm heading.

I often don't really know what to say. I sometimes feel like I have nothing intelligent to contribute to discussion, so I let it wash over me. I hope people don't mistake it for ignorance or stupidity, I'm only trying to absorb it all.

I hate turning down amazing opportunities.
But sometimes I have to.
I'm trying to have no regrets - it can be difficult.

I can't wait to play my technical exam. I can't wait to play my chamber music exam. I'm excited (though nervous) about recording my audition. I'm also excited but also a little nervous about the competition (which isn't even mine...!). I get excited about working at Impresaria.
They all have piano in common.
I wonder if I will continue to grow in enjoyment of music, or whether it will fizzle out in the future. I hope it's the former.

I often struggle to define myself much past my faith and music.

I realise that my friends don't see me as boring. But I fear that I often come across as that. Because of the above statement.

There's something that needs to be physically filled. Many try though they don't realise it. But I'll know when it's done. I'm not sure whether my reaction will be to be relieved or an outpouring of emotion or a stupid grin on my face. Perhaps all of them, simultaneously.



enough soul-bearing.
back to being a hermit...(ironically??)