A whirlwind summary

First term at ANAM has nearly come to an end! How did it all go so quickly?

The summer was blissfully relaxing; I managed to get a real break. My family went for a holiday down south in Western Australia, driving almost 1500km in about five days. (When I reported my travels to Victorian friends, most of them drew a blank at "down south" because obviously "down south" from Melbourne is the ocean....) There were lots of trees, wineries, local tourist attractions, beaches, more trees, good walks and a variety of interesting backpackers (and other budget travellers). I managed to sleep well - a particularly fine achievement as my brother tends to be a noisy sleeper (read: snores, breathes deeply, which I cannot stand!) and I always uphold when we go on holidays that I will, for the first night, share a room with him as we did when we were much younger at home, and if I can't sleep, I will trade with dad and share with mum. However, this was not at all necessary; we must have done so much that I was so tired and slept so well! I also experienced pretty severe sunburn, which is an experience I never want to have again. Oh, the pain and the peeling.....how pink I was!

I returned to Melbourne at the end of January, again before Chinese New Year. Good thing I have cousins over here, and that my aunt and uncle decided to come also to spend a few weeks with their children and attend to business. I was able to stay with them for a week or so before I moved into my new house (!!!). Upon reflection, and in telling people about my move to the other side of the river, out of college, into a place by myself, I find myself extremely happy. I feel much more relaxed, at liberty to set my times as I need, experiement with cooking, not needing to deal with red-tape administration, play political games, nor be bothered by stupid and rude behaviours that are not acceptable in normal society. It feels real, what it's really like to be living a real life that is not surrrounded by the fun, though rather artificial, environment that the previous seven years have been. Over the last few years, I've tried to have a 'no regrets' attitude to things, and this is one of them. Even though I feel so much happier about my living situation (and also that it's a leisurely 15min walk to ANAM every day!), I don't regret living at college for so long, as it suited my needs at that time. But this is the next phase of life, something that one needs to do before they reach 25, which I am to hit in just under three weeks!

The first term of ANAM always seems like a bit of a blur. Last year it went so quickly as I adjusted to how it all worked, a very new and different way of approaching my music. This year, after a bit of a summer break lull, it has been a refresher of how ANAM works, what the rest of the year is shaping up to be and how my learning goals are geared towards deepening my musical education. I've had a few projects that have already extended me beyond my perceived capabilities and set a tone of great expectation for the rest of the year. This year I feel like I am doing lots of things that I've never ventured near before: Brahms and Scriabin and a few other things thrown in for good measure. It shall be a good challenge and steep learning curve! There is also a distinctly different vibe among the students from last year to this year; I think I cannot say it is better or worse, but just different. Different people bring different vibes and the combination of so many new students with different life experiences and expectations obviously contribute to the flavour of it all, so why argue with it? I'm just letting it wash over me, deciding what I can tolerate, emjoy and avoid.

One other major factor that has changed this year is that I'm currently in the process of searching for a new church to be a part of. Since moving to Melbourne, I have been a part of the same church congregation (almost seven years) which has seen much change, due to the highly transitional nature of the congregation and its demographic. Due to a number of factors, not least moving house to another part of town, I decided that it was time to go elsewhere. Honestly, in many ways it might have just been easier to stay, despite the commute. I was (still am, possibly?) extremely sad to leave - it has been such a defining part of my life, particularly of my life in this city. I grew so much, I made many friends who are some of the most mature, generous, influential and loving people I have met; I have so much to be thankful for. It might have been easier if I was needing to leave because of a significant relocation (like to another city or country!) but it is weird to still be in the same city and know that I am elsewhere too. But change, despite how much we dislike it or are uncomfortable with many aspects of it, is often good for us, and a good reminder that we are fleeting in the whole scheme of things of life anyway. So continues life, for better or worse, and the earth keeps on turnin'...

One thing I've been slowly figuring out over the last few years is my identity, and how we are inherently relational beings. Given the number of changes that have happened, particularly in the last few years (changing study/work, living, involvement in various things), I've discovered and constantly rediscover the relationships in my life that form, establish, fall away, re-establish, and continue to simmer and grow over time. While I often don't see change from day to day, little moment peaks and coincidences happen every so often that remind me that I am ultimately not in control of very much, and that we just have to ride the life journey for all its enjoyments, grief, and surprises.