How did it get to be halfway through already??

Wow, the first week has gone by so quickly!
Holidays....NOT......
'Non-teaching period' just means I don't have to go to my oh-so-strenuous twelve hours of class. That doesn't mean that it's not trying though....which I assure you, some of it is!
I've had some rehearsals, which have been good. I've already watched two trashy chick flicks in boredom. I've cooked a little. I went shopping last weekend with A & E for jeans (successful, yay!) and little else, pity. Oh well.
Had a Quintet Day, which involved a rehearsal, Yum Cha for lunch and an OV concert. It was fun :) The boundaries blur a little with these things - sometimes not a good thing, I suppose in other professions, but perhaps good at this stage??
Sorry if I can't manage to squeeze you in this coming week. Help me out here, it's pretty crazy...

Monday 28th: Morning practice; 2pm Rehearsal; 4pm Play in Horn Masterclass. There's supposed to be three people, but one hasn't contacted me, so I hope she's not expecting me to play for her..

Tuesday 29th: Morning practice; Lunch with my cousin whom I haven't seen for about seven years (!!); Vocal Ensemble rehearsal 3pm; 4.15 meeting with a classmate for a tute presentation; Back at college for 5.30 shift of SCR duty

Wednesday 30th: Trio rehearsal in the morning; Own practice; 3pm Rehearsal at South Melbourne; 4pm Play in horn masterclass. Have to learn 1st movement of Hindemith in four days...eek!! Night: Mnozil Brass concert. If you haven't seen these guys, check it out on YouTube, they're pretty cool! I incidentally also won tickets to another concert on the same night, but unfortunately can't be in two places at the same time. If anybody figures out how, let me know. I would owe you big time.

Thursday 1st: Quintet Day, involving two tutes (eek!), thankfully (hopefully?!) separated by lunch, hopefully followed by Guitar Hero.....supposed to be on duty in the evening too, but desparately trying to swap it!!

Friday 2nd: Morning practice; soundcheck for weekend in the morning; possibly a concert to play in at 12pm; Play in Horn Masterclass (but nobody's contacted me yet, so who knows?!?!)

Saturday 3rd: Trio; 1.30pm Russian concert (some celebratory concert, where we're playing Kurtag, which is possibly the very opposite of celebratory, considering that the last movement of 6mins duration, which is half the piece, is a slow passacaglia of approximately 25-30bars resembling death....) Should be hilariously awkward :P 2pm Engagement Party #1; 7.30pm Engagement Party #2

Sunday 4th: Somebody remind me to change my clock....
MSV Comp 2.30pm We're playing sometime in the concert.....

So sorry if I can't fit you in, I'll try my best...but I'm supposedly also working on two group presentations, preparing accompaniment for possibly two important auditions, doing a few assignments (huh, what??), keeping on top of stuff. No wonder I haven't had time to work on my own solo stuff :( That's ok, something has to give, right?

And if anybody can help me out with why blogger is not in the nice new formatting style that doesn't have this awful old-school font, I would be very appreciative.

Other thoughts have included:
Why am I playing so much 20th/21st century music? And what's with the sharp increase (read, infinity-sized) of Hindemith in the past three weeks? From nothing to two!
And why aren't I going to Tasmania with anybody? Please tell me somebody is going, and I can hang with them?!?! I'm scared..!
Also have not liked thinking about life after this year :( What to do, where to live. It's scary and I don't know.
I adore playing and hanging out with you guys. You're wonderful :)
I miss you guys heaps, I feel like I've lost touch with you because I've been so busy :( How to make it go back to how it was???
I always thought I was one of those people who knew exactly what was going on, and always had a plan. Now I'm not so sure. And I'm not sure if I like it. Nor if I can trust that it's all going to work out nicely.

Found about AYO stuff last week.....and I clicked the green 'Accept' button for 2010 Chamber Music Camp. I'm excited, should be good. Though I'm a little scared, because my wind/brass/percussion friends obviously can't do it. So I hope I know some people, or at least get on really well with the people I'll be playing with *scared smile*

Melbourne's being Melbourne again, of course. A week and a day ago, it was the most beautiful day - ate lunch in the sun and absorbed amounts of Vitamin D. We even went for gelate in the afternoon and B & I stayed out talking in the park till he had to head off. It was great! And then somehow the past few days have turned to winter....*dislike* I don't get it!!

A two week reprieve?

Finally, the mid-semester break, which is positioned not mid-semester. Whatever.
It has been a crazy past two months; I've tried to keep smiling through all of August and as much September has happened. I don't think I realised how hard it was going to be to consistently putting my body and brain under so much pressure, day-in day-out with not much rest in-between it all.
There have been class performances, rehearsals extraordinaire, phone calls back and forth, not being able to get onto people, assignemnts to look forward to (urgh), an enjoyable football match, a mini (or not so insignificant) Victorian road-trip to Geelong and Ballarat, fun times playing and hanging out backstage, Asian photos, meeting K.Rudd, a couple of trips to South Melbourne, fun playing times, extra meetings here and there.....
And that was within two weeks...

So, there are two weeks of 'Non-teaching' which apparently ≠ holidays. Well, I'm pretty sure that is true in my case.
Here is what needs to be done:
*Australian Economic History: write essay; tute prep (working in advance on a presentation a classmate and I have to do in week 10); lecture/tute reading
*Experimental Economics: Assignment (tute presentation with two other classmates); reading; problem set

Question: How did I end up with two tute presentations in my final semester of university? I think I've only ever done two in my entire degree(s!) so far!!

*Accounting: Quickbooks assignment (gross), possibly after learning HOW to use Quickbooks in the first place..; tute prep; reading I haven't done for the past.....errr...seven weeks :S; learning material I haven't understood for the past....six weeks.... :S
How did first year subjects get so hard?!?!

*Organise Chamber Music stuff, including tutes and dates for exams..
*Have rehearsals for Vocal Ensemble, for a Composition project
*Think about next year (actually suspecting this is losing all novelty value very quickly as it looms and is scary. If anybody would like to help me out, I would love you forever...)
*Rehearsals for auditions/other fun stuff....
*Work: Library, also possibly a teaching gig, MIFB (horn masterclasses woo!)
*Trio rehearsals woo! And a concert for some Russian celebratory thing......I can't really remember the details, but all I know is that it's going to be hilarious (as we're playing the Kurtag, not very 'celebratory'...) and really awkward :P
*Quintet days! Day 1: Rehearsal, lunch, concert Day 2: Tutes. Yes, multiple. With lunch in-between. And possibly some fun shenanigans afterwards to chill out :) Fun-ness.
*Go to concerts, including MIFB stuff, possibly others...??

Yes....so....that 'holiday' ey....?

a few points

* So, I said that it'd be less busy this week. Whatever. About ten rehearsals in all this week. Eek. STRESS (just a little)
* Subsequently, have cancelled work, and possibly will cancel all other things that aren't super-pressing. Sorry :(
* In that promo video when asked "Who are you?" I should have said, with the sign to accompany, "I'm Asian!". Probably one-third of the church would have cried with laughter, some more than others. :D The best ideas always come after the actual thing. Everybody already knew I was crazy, little and eccentric.....
* Essaying not going so well. Gross. So hard. Interesting, but hard.
* Really enjoying this version of the Beethoven - piano part so interesting, why can't I play like that?
* Desk needs some serious cleaning. I'm serously contemplating paying somebody to do it for me...as well as the rest of the house...
* Still debating about next weekend. Ahh, don't know what to decide. At first, I was like, "totally yes!" but now I'm not so sure. Cop out, ey? Sigh...
* I'm exhausted
* As I trammed into the city, away from uni, to South Melbourne today (in the middle of the day!) I felt this thing that said 'Wow, this is so liberating!' and didn't really feel like returning to the real world of uni...sadness!

Crazy times

Fun happenings -
Music Ball: Cool big band (yes, that's right, live music!), a night to party with some awesome friends (unfortunately not all of them came, but that's ok), a swanky venue, many people dressed to the 20s theme, crazy dancing, fun photos, hat-stealing, nice bathrooms, chips and salad with our main, delicious dessert, a hilarious piggy-back race along the pier, standing around trying to figure out what to do after the ball (we stood around for about half an hour hah), maxi-taxi-ing.

Dinner with friends: sometimes at short notice. Been very impressed that they've happened, as I usually am one of thsoe people who doesn't do short notice that well. One was some beautiful pumpkin soup. The other was a drive to Burwood for some long-overdue catching up. And another was brought round to do some communal cooking. 'Tis been good.

Lunch (yum-cha): after quintet rehearsal. Three out of the five of us (I think!) had never eaten it before, so it was all a bit of fun. And tasty it was!

Concerts: Melb Uni Orchestra. Interesting - I hear lots about the happenings of orchestra through these string/woodwind/brass friends of mine...times like this that I wish I played one of those! Oh well...had a small though dedicated contingent to come hear the very Romantic programme (Mussourgsky, Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky). Also had MYO concert - more Rachmaninoff (Symphonic Dances) which has a cool piano part in the first movement. Fun concert, really good concert. Ravel 'La Valse' and Shostakovich 2nd piano concerto also on the menu. If you haven't heard the 2nd movt of the Shosta before, DO IT. Most beautiful thing I've heard in a long time!

Trio-ing & Quintet-ing: Plugging away at both. I think I go through phases where one seems to be going better then the other one. But I love them both very much - I couldn't bear to pick between them if I had to! This semester is very different repertoire to each other (unlike Mozart wash in E Flat Major like last!) - there is Beethoven Quintetting (similar to Mozart, but different too) and Trio-ing with Kurtag and Smit. Both 20th-century. Both quite different to Mozart!
We played some Beethoven in a couple of classes already - felt a little bit unprepared personally but it's getting there. Just need to sit down and do it, and not rely on how awesome the individual players are! Aired Kurtag yesterday in class - it's quite interesting, very Webern-like in some ways, very dramatic elsewhere. But it went down really well yay! Smit *should* be fairly straightforward to put together - there are some seriously sexy harmonies in that!

Have had super-long days of uni, especially Thursdays. Some longer than others. Including one fine example: 8am at uni to practice, 9.30am rehearsal in Melba, 10am Accounting lecture, 11am play in Concert Class, 12pm Australian Economic History lecture, 1.15pm Careers seminar, 2.15-3.45pm Experimental Economics class, 4.15-6.15pm Vocal Ensemble, 7.30pm Seminar at Trinity, 8.45pm collapse at home ready to fall into bed....

Have had a few things due at uni too; did quite well in my first two commerce assignments - Accounting (thanks to my tutor for guiding me!) and Australian Ec. History (Argument maping with cool software....anyway, the piont of this was to say that I didn't think I did a great job of it, mine was only A4 fairly small type, and I didn't think that I'd covered the points that well, but still did really well even though I was really worried when I saw other people's A3 tiny type).

Practically threw Mozart Miscellany together to a fairly high degree of success. It was a bit disconcerting that the repertoire was mostly very comfortable - not sure if I've ever experienced something like that before! ACU were very welcoming, some familiar faces in the crowd (thanks guys!) and the sextet were of course, amazing :) Love your work!

Played for Hephzibah Menuhin prelims. Had a little break in the middle, so went to a very nice cafe to have a HoCho date where we sat under the stairs. 'Twas beautiful :) Found out 'we' got into the instrument finals - was informed with this message: "We're in". I love how little we sometimes need to say, we're just on this different wavelength. I suppose that happens when you've known someone for a while and worked intensely with them, it's good. I like those partnerships.

Which segueways really well into this next point.....

I really like workshopping things and developing a relationship with people when I play with them - for me it's quite personal. I know they say it works better when you click musically, but I also am a big fan of clicking personally. Which is why I've found myself through the course of this year caring much for my trio and quintet (and also sextet!) and those people - they're the ones I see myself as aligned to. And that's not really the case at the Academy - they put things together on an ad hoc basis and pull people together as required. And there isn't really structure to how it operates. And even though my stuff and times change all the time, having some sort of structure with definites is my thing. And I'm not ready to undertake their super-rigorous programme just yet. Maybe next year, dunno. Not sure. So I officially withdrew my application.
But I'm thankful that my long-held belief that boys don't talk was shattered when I had alluded to one friend in a text message that I wasn't so sure about my audition, talked to another friend about it briefly and then the first friend called me that evening after talking to friend 2. I'm pretty chuffed to discover that they do indeed talk. And I was really thankful that friend 1 called (and that friend 2 also was concerned).
Anyway, so I actually decided, and thought it'd be important to let friend 1 and 2 know, along with some others. And I felt really relieved when I rang them up. The lady who I talked to was very kind - the conversation went a bit like this:
Me: "I'd like to talk to somebody about my audition"
Lady: "Yes, I can do that, when is your audition scheduled for?"
Me: "Tomorrow, 3.40pm. I'd actually like to officially withdraw my application."
Lady: "You don't want to reschedule? We can find a different day for you if you'd like"
Me: "Thank you, but I'm sure I would like to not audition at all as I don't think it'll be necessary.." (etc. other stuff)
Yes! She was so nice that she wanted to double-check that I didn't want a rescheduled time. She was quite comforting too, and it made me feel like I wasn't putting them at great inconvenience, which is something I don't particularly like doing either.

So, a serious load lifted after I hung up. And of course, I managed to land myself another four gigs after withdrawing for the next week and a half. Hah. What would my life be if it wasn't like this? :P A couple of them VERY short notice, but I did ok, I think.

But the recent tumblings and turnings especially of the last two and a bit weeks have made me realise how fortunate and blessed I am to have these amazing friends. Those that I know continue to support me even though I suddenly become absent and snowed under, those that will pray when I ask them, those that will check in with me to see if it's all going ok, those that call or text or email and put a smile on my face, those that would disagree with my decisions but still support me, those that give up their time to help me out, those that let me be silly and crazy and help me just relax and smile even if for a little while. Thank you, you guys are amazing.

I think I've cried more in the past three weeks than in the past while I can remember - perhaps....previous three months?! It has been a tough August, rolling into September. But I think (hope?!) I'm on the upswing - it can only get better!
And remember, we just gotta keep on truckin' and keep smiling....