A long trip home

So, I'm finally home. But getting home was far more difficult than I anticipated.
Ed sent me to the airport - I had left lots of time, which was cool. The flight left at 9.25pm, and I'd arrived by 7.45pm - plenty of time! But when I arrived, the terminal was full of people, people were sitting all over, not necessarily in a line. There was general chaos, the board flashed flights that were 'Delayed' or (even worse) 'Cancelled'.

So, it turns out that a Telstra cable to T3 (where the Virgin Blue terminal is set up) was cut and all computer-operated systems were not functioning. Manual check-ins, serious delays, too many people to comprehend at any one time. All we could do was wait. And wait we did. And we waited until they announced that there were only going to be four (later two, as two were cancelled due to airport curfews) flights (operated by Virgin Blue) leaving Melbourne Airport. Ours was not one of them. :(

So then, we had to proceed downstairs to see what accommodation we could be fixed up with. There was a massive line. Apparently they were trying to accommodate four to five thousand people. That is a lot of people!
But somehow we managed to find ourselves at the front of a second line, and put our names down on the accommodation list. Then there was more waiting. Lots of it. There were all sorts of phone calls (many!) and eventually they started calling out people's names to board buses to head to the hotel. This all took a long time, and at close to midnight, was pretty draining. A busload of us were taken to The Sebel in Albert Park which turns out is a 4.5 star hotel - can't complain! Admittedly, we took some photos of the hotel, because it's been a while since I stayed in a hotel (and such a nice one at that!). We made sure not to touch anything from the mini-bar (ridiculously over-priced!), had an awful view of the next building, but the bed was comfortable, there were fluffy white towels and the only thing not provided was a toothbrush. But at about 1.45am, I finally crashed into bed.

There wasn't much sleep to be had either, unfortunately...back home, my mum was crazily trying to reschedule a flight and I got woken up by a text that arrived at close to 4am telling me that she'd managed to get us on a 9.25am flight - exactly 12 hours after the original flight. Which meant getting to the airport well before the hotel's check-out time of 11am. I wasn't all too smart about it all - it would have been nice to use the hotel's facilities, but was keen to avoid a hot Melbourne day. We got to the airpot at about 7.15am (far too early after a frantic night!). We ate Macca's for breakfast (gross, but wonderful simultaneously), sat around, stood in a line for a while and were delayed (again!)because:
i) the previous flight was delayed;
ii) the flight was over-booked and they had to ask for volunteers to get off that flight
iii) we waited for other passengers from a connecting flight (which was delayed) to get on the plane.

But finally we were off to Perth. Finally. It was such a relief to be back on the other side of the country. Even though I really love Melbourne and the people there; it would have been hugely awkward to have said bye to everybody and then ring people up and murmur, "Ummm...I'm sitll here..." Hah.

So that is the saga that was.


In previous news (in concise manner):
1. Moving out was painful (for my back) and a bit hectic, but thankfully worked out in the end.
2. Tasmania was wonderful. A fantastic experience - learning, musical, trip-wise. Will have to go back there to actually go on holiday. Walked places (muchly!), walked hills (very large ones..). Made friends (yay!). Had a cool piano tutor (amazing woman!).
3. Lived out of suitcase for another week and a bit. Amess St was fun. Reherasals were good. Wasn't 'home' much.
4. Masters Recitals: horn one was good; page-turning was fun, not being able to play electronics due to technical glitches were not so fun...
Vocal one was also good - much more involved! But went really well. Love French.
5. Wedding was good, as was reception. Fun times were had by all.
6. Was good to see two friends from Perth in Melbourne. Yay!

Am yet to catch up on all the sleep from this year...but hopefully it is getting there. Have some appointments (you know, parent-organised) but apart from that, will hopefully be learning some concerti, sleeping, going to the beach, possibly learning guitar....

Themes of 2010

Shostakovich. Mozart. Strauss. E Flat Major. My drink - LLB. No other :) Local hangouts. Dumplings. Yum-cha. Calamari. It's free on 3! Collaborations. Yes. No. Up. Down. Black and white. Black and silver. Collaborative study.

So. Scared.

I hope I don't get lost.
Probably not on email, so ring me......

The stuff you do and the stuff you don't

If you've known me for a long time, or even just a short time, or have followed any of my progress through life of late, you'll know that this year has been filled with some of the most amazing highs and deep lows. You'll know that I've smiled lots and very widely this year with some people, but you might or mightn't know that I've probably also cried more this year than the previous four combined.

You'll know of the decision I have come to make that I wanted to pursue music full-time in my life. But you'll also know that my Plan A went astray. As did my Plan B. And you'll know that I don't make Plan Cs because I usually go with A, or at least, B.

And you'll know that I have amazing friends who support and love me. But you'll also know that I've found it hard to devote as much as I like to all of them individually. You'll know that I have a bunch of really close friends for different things. But possibly no one person crosses all those different things.

You'll know that I spent the last five years asking myself the same question. And have come to a sort-of conclusion by now. But you'll also know that I love learning just for the sake of it.

You'll know that I am a little bit crazy and say yes to all sorts of things. But you'll also know that there are some times that I think my youthful enthusiasm gets me into all sorts of situations that are possibly way beyond me.

You'll know that I'm a bit of a perfectionist (I think it comes with being one of those pianists). But you mightn't know that I'm getting really good at faking it too. Handy, but not necessarily good all the time.

You'll know that I like having the next week of my life planned out and if you want to catch up, you'll need to make sure I put it in my diary and allocate time for it. But you'll also know that I have only vague plans for next year and what it looks like. And you'll know that I am so scared about not being able to pay rent, pursue what I actually want to, not learn in the way I want to, not achieve the things I want to.

You'll know that my next week is fully booked. But I have no idea where to put the other things. And sometimes I think you think you know that there isn't enough time. But you mightn't know that if you really want it and ask, I'd make time.

You'll know that if often looks like I have it all together and have it all under control. But you mightn't know that I'm padlling as fast as I can underneath the surface. And sometimes it sure doesn't feel like it's fast enough.

You'll know of the amazing opportunities that have been thrown at me. But you mightn't know that it hurts so much not to take them all, because I fear so much that I won't get anything like it again.

You'll know that I sleep about six to seven hours per night - and it's definitely not enough when it all catches up. And you'll know that I didn't avoid to manage the university student typical coffee addiction within the last four weeks of uni.

You'll know that I operate at about 70% on any given day. But even I don't really know what it's like to feel 100%. You'll know that I probably need to take better care of myself. But I think I need other people to look after me, because I know I probably wouldn't.

You'll know that I'm a bit of a workaholic. But you mightn't know that I also manage to waste a lot of time doing I-don't-know-what. And you mightn't know that there are some days I just want to laze around and do nothing, but you'd know that I'd rather usually do that with other people.

You should know that I love and care so much for my friends that I would do almost anything for them - and I get upset when I can't. You might see it as favouritism, coldness to some or others, but you'd know it if you were on the receiving end. You'd perhaps know if you can hear the smile when I pick up the phone, or saw it just before I did.

You'll know that I don't like putting people out of their way. But you mightn't know that if I ever do, it's either because I really like you (and think that you might like me enough to do so too) or I really don't and couldn't really care less. Having said that, it is not my intentional aim though to do so.

You'll know that I love this city, most because of the people I've met and the friends I've made, but also because of the things that I've done in it, and the memories I have of certain things. But you'll know that I also have a little bit of an itch to go elsewhere, but I'm so scared of leaving all this to somewhere new and unknown, or even old and now-unknown.

not the daily grind

But at the same time, yes it is....go figure.
The ups and downs continue, but perhaps with less volatility. Heck, this sounds like a comparison of the Australian economy pre- and post-1980s reform. Wow. NERD!

And so it goes...some of the ups:
*music-king
*concerts - both playing and watching
*rehearsals, intense tutes
*amazing singing. That made me almost cry on both occasions :)
*celebrating with friends
*remembering what awesome friends i have
*tramming adventures
*eating adventures
*'study breaks'-cum-adventures
*randomness
*popping-ins to say hi
*running into friends
*crazy photos (in the library!)
*spontaneous excursions
*talking for hours
*communal study sessions
*good food
*good friends


and some of the downs:
*can't read it!!
*what does it all mean???
*study for hours
*study unproductively for hours!
*realising how much I don't know
*obnoxious people

And those with no specific category:
*The 'Don't Know' Club slowly morphing into the 'I think I may have a bit sorted out' Club. Don't worry, we'll see be there for each other!
*Big ideas. Scary. But cool.
*Making some decisions. Scary also.
*Sorting out the short-term life. CRAZY!
*Knowing the lines
*P.R.!
*Stuff to look forward to. But so much to do around it!

My questions:
*Isn't it obvious?
*Why is it like that?
*What would it be like?
*Why don't you just tell me?
*What would you think?
*How would you react?
*Would that be weird? (Because it's totally out of character)
*What's going to happen?
*Can we still do that stuff?
*Do you want to?
*How can we make it work?
*How can I make it happen?
*Are we just dancing around the issues?

Yup, I'm a question-asker.....

ups and downs

about nine months ago i thought i had it all figured out.
and in the last three months it's come crashing down and rebounding up and shattering in all directions.
so much stuff has come up.
august was supposed to be my month of just keepin' on truckin' (and smiling too!). september was supposed to be yours. and then october. but somehow, i felt like i've had to keep telling myself to keep on truckin' and smiling through all of those months. who woulda thunk?
the last four weeks of uni have gone by so quickly - a few bits of assessment here and there. so much performing to do. the last couple of weeks have been C.R.A.Z.Y. So much stuff packed into such little time.
lots of it has been so much fun, couldn't have asked for much more.....much music-ing, crazy rehearsals, emails flying back and forth, comp finals.....(after weird dream!)

but now there is so much other stuff to think about.
i'm scared.
i don't know.
i don't make decisions for myself...!
all so uncertain.
so many ups and downs.

i'm so scared to leave uni - an end of an era. but it means that i lose that certainty. and i've always been one of those people who like to know what is going to happen. guarantee. now what?
feels like limbo.

all so much. have possibly cried more in the last three months than any other three month period of the last five years...!


i'm always doubting my abilities. so to have any suggestion that what i'm doing is not valid makes me doubt even more.

i wish i were that good so that the choices might have been easier...

random ii

negativity. stop. not interested. not funny. tone of voice. get it. you don't understand. you possibly never will. if you really knew. if i don't, i probably don't really care. don't like those nicknames. they're for people who actually know me. weird stalker fashion. talk too much. immature. get over it. assume. wrong. indirect. vague. unsure. misconstrue. dislike.


appreciate. good questions. care. ask. just not prying. make me laugh. make me smile. for good reasons. no reason at all. enjoy the silence. enjoy the sunshine. crazy. madness. in it. support. passion. sincerity. appropriate. encourage. even if you don't understand. that's what wins it.

random

sorry for stuffing y'all around. but thanks for coming. thanks andy. concerts. stolen lemon. miss talking to you. everybody else's parents. can't figure out why it may feel awkward to hug? frick! the 'don't know' club. got a good feeling? too much chiasma love - is there such a thing? programme notes. wearing black. 'no idea'. wearing some colour. lemon on mantlepiece. faure. less than two weeks?! french music. debate. over until exams. exams??? grace.

almost every hour for four days planned and accounted for. worry. too much anxiety. grace.

Childhood III (and not)

I used to think:
* that people had to get married to somebody of the same ethnic background as themselves. (Borne out of the belief that people had to marry people with the same coloured hair as themselves!)
* that 'detergent' was actually 'letergent'.
* that cars (and other vehicles) weren't rigid, and when they went around corners, the body curved around.
* that 'cholesterol-free' on margarine tubs meant that you didn't pay for the cholesterol, you got it for free in the margaine. Similarly with MSG-free etc.
* that perfect pitch was something that everybody had - I didn't think it was a special skill or anything, and couldn't understand why people couldn't just pick out notes like I could.
* that I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, marine biologist or architect. Or lecturing at an institution like Oxford, Cambridge, or Harvard. Sigh.
* that uni and college would be completely filled with intellectually engaging people. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty that are (and almsot all my friends are) but there are others.....


I never thought:
* I'd finish high school, let alone finish university....and here I am, two weeks away from the undergraduate instalment...
* I'd actually be studying at university away from home. I'd definitely been eyeing it for a long time, requesting prospectuses from anywhere and everywhere, and doing all the relevant homework. But considering how much it cost, I was pretty sure there was no chance I'd be going anywhere other than UWA...
* he'd know that I ever liked him. Whaddaya know, sometimes boys aren't as dumb as we girls make them out to be, even at the age of fourteen...
* my music would be such a focus of a my life. Not until the last few years, anyway.


I've always thought:
* that I'm a shy and introverted person. Contrary to apparently popular belief...
* I would have the label/stereotype of nerdy Asian... :P Seems it still sticks?!

Stories from Childhood II

I just went to the London Philharmonic Orchestra concert tonight and it made me think about the fact that it wasn't the first time I've seen them...!
So here we go with another few stories....

This one (the larger picture) I could go on for a very long time if you let me. So maybe I'll just tell the original bit as intended.
In 2002 I was given the amazing opportunity to go on exchange from my school to a wonderful little school in Connecticut, USA. I had a most wonderful time, and still have very fond memories, which pop up every so often. Sometimes there'll be something that happens now and I'll suddenly remember a time at Westover when...
Anyway, the 20th Century Art and History class (I think!) were going on a class trip to Carnegie Hall to see the LPO conducted by Kurt Masur. The ticket was expensive at the time, being a student and given the poor exchange rate. But I thought it would be pretty darn cool, so I coughed it up. And we drove the two hours it was to New York to see the orchestra. We had dinner at some burger place in NYC (Yes, I can say I did that!), remember that the 10% tip worked out to be quite significant, and then went to Carnegie Hall. Wow. I've been there, totally mind-blowing for me now hehe!
The playing was excellent, was all I remember. They played Strauss' Till Eulenspiegel - little did I know that we would be studying this piece in class the following year! Yuri Bashmet also played a viola concerto (I think Walton, did he write one?!). I didn't appreciate who he was at the time. There was also something else on the programme, but obviously something I didn't really know....Ah, so much was lost on me at the age of fifteen! But I do remember it was an excellent concert. Kurt Masur, as I read in tonight's programme and recalled being told about, actually went to the LPO in 2002 from the New York Philhamonic, so there was great sentiment for him in New York so the audience was very excited to hear this great visiting orchestra with a music personality they cherished very much.

Perhaps I might continue on the exchange stories - they're sitll technically my childhood, and they are very strong memories....but if at any time you'd like to hear any more of them, I would love to spill them all, but only if you've got lots of time!

The first (and possibly only, so far?!) assessment I failed was in English II at Westover - the diagnostic grammar test in Bruce Coffin's class. I'd only ever done a little bit of English grammar, and that was largely not at school, but rather out of a workbook that my mum had given me a number of years prior. So apart from classifying simple nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs, there were a bunch of other categories, and lots of exceptions - and different terms for when it functioned differently! Now this teacher was one who marked in a very solid-coloured and tipped pen, I recall it was red for this test. I got my test back a week later with a "50 E/F" on it. I'd never got an F before - how disappointing. He asked to speak to me, and he seemed like such a gruff man, I was so scared! But I explained how we didn't do English grammar in Australia and I didn't know much. He understood and accepted, but also pointed out that it was important in this class, as one day of every week was to be spent on grammar, so I needed to learn it, and that every week (Friday morning?) we would have a one-on-one consultation for me to learn grammar. I remember my final report included something along the lines of "I am impressed with the pluck that Gladys goes about learning grammar".

I don't remember much about New Girl Camp. But I know I went, as I have a photo from it! I knwo it was a pretty cool location, with all sorts of fun activities and stuff. We chose which spirit team we wanted to be on (go Overs!) made these posters, wrote our names on the bottom of these wooden boats (which were later floated in the lake with a candle on them...??). And we travelled back on buses in our spirit teams where we learned cheers and got to know the Over heads.

The little music practice room was a pokey little room next to the Assembly Room. I think I was shown it when I asked the music teachers at the school. It was very small, I think it had a brown grand piano in it, and was fairly claustrophobic. But there was this cupboard in there that had all manners of sheet music, which I explored. It was a litle scary though, considering it was a school with many traditions, stories, history....being in there alone in the evening and night felt a little creepy! But I spent quite a few hours away whiling away at my music....

I remember the Red Hall. It was a beautiful room, and as the name suggests, actually red. Red carpet, beautiful wooden furnishings, cute little lounges on each side with tables and banker's lights. I first walked into this place on the Registration Day - it was such a strange experience to walk into a different school knowing that this was going to be somewhere I was going to live and study at for the next term. A few other memories of this particular room include:
i) that night pretty early in the semester when it stormed at night and the fire alarms went off. I was so taken by how well-drilled everybody was in evacuation procedures, and how calm both Zoe and Pam were! We walked to the LBD in our coats-over-pjs, watching the lightning cast an amazing (and scary) picture of the exterior of the school. And the doors were locked - so much for the evacuation meeting spot! We all had to go back into the school and congregate in Red Hall. And the next morning, the school had already come up with a plan for an alternative evacuation meeting spot.
ii) Playing at a community event held at the school. The piano was moved to the landing of the stairs (how, I do not know still!). But the music teachers had asked three of us to play some background music(including one very lovely, but intimidating senior haha). Everything was far too loud so there was much soft pedal and little touch, hardly ideal, but fun nevertheless. I received a letter of thanks afterwards from the organisation (?, the Family Servies of Greater Waterbury? I don't even remember, but I do have it at home, I think!) which was very kind.
iii) Making an announcement at the final Wednesday assembly of the term, where Marie and I presented the library with a couple of books (of Australia, of course haha). Actually, I stood up and held them up for all to see, Marie did all the talking because I was a) too scared to speak in front of all those people! and b) afriad I was going to cry from being so sad that I had to leave so soon!

There was that one time Zoe said she felt like bouncing off the walls, so we did. Literally. It was hilarious. All three of us in our (fairly massive!) triple room, Zoe, Pam and Gladys. We also had parts in the George Washington Bridge song, which we sang while brushing our teeth. I had so much fun with those girls :D And I did also love the rest of my corridor, as well as the other girls who came a'visiting regularly. They were so much fun, such lovely girls. We used to hang out in Tracy's apartment chatting and eating yummy food she cooked for us (especially the bit of time between Study Hall and In-Room/Lights Out), watching old school Disney movies, playing with her two sons, furiously write emails and chat in the pods (hehe! I def. remember that!), talk on the phone in the phone cupboard (not kidding, 'cupboard'!). There were quite a few rules, but they never felt imposing, nor unfair. It seemed that everybody respected them and abided by them (for the consequences were very serious if not!) and they weren't there to be broken but rather so that everything functioned smoothly and well. I'd never seen anything else like it before, and possibly anything since!

In choosing classes, I was allocated a few that they thought would be suitable for me, and gave me a few options. English II was a necessary, and I was also allocated to a maths class, 'North vs South' (American History), Astronomy and I requested to study Latin I. Marie and I went to a few Astronomy classes, which were very interesting - Terry Hallaran was obviously very interested in it and was so enthusiastic about teaching it and imparting knowledge to his students. On the first day, we attended this class in the science classes (which we struggled to find!) and in that first class we were asked about how the stars and stuff looked different in the southern hemisphere. Heck, I hardly gaze up at night, but luckily the Southern Cross is on the Australian flag, so we mentioned something about it as being an important constellation, thankfully to his satisfaction! I however, decided that Astronomy was not a class I was interested in - if anything, I wanted to do something like Chemistry, but I think I wasn't given the option, or realised that there would be far too many hours than I was interested in, so I decided not to take any science for the term! The history class was mostly made up for Seniors and Juniors, so I know I felt pretty out of place being a sophomore. I think they wanted us to take an American history course, considering we were exchange students (rather than the European history course that most sophomores take). It was a very stimulating class, and Lisa Marie made history very exciting. It was possibly one of the best history courses I've taken at any time in my education. And we received a copy of the American Declaration of Independance and Constitution in a little maroon-covered book. I still have it at home. I wanted to study Latin because I didn't have the opportunity at home, and it was something I was interested in. The instructor, Chris Sweeney, was an excellent teacher. The class was small (five of us?) so it was intimate and we had plenty of speaking time. Chris expected much of us, but was encouraging when we weren't quite so confident or competent just yet. And he had the most intense stare, espcially after he asked you a question (eg. "Can you tell me what case the........is?" Insert piercing look that questions you expecting great things here). He was such a dedicated teacher; I particularly remember during the study day(s?) he was willing to stay at school in the evening till after the study hall that day to help us with last-minute revision (for the exam the next day!) across the boards of his classroom. That's dedication.
The math class, I'm not sure I ever made it to that one. But somehow I figured out pretty quickly that the math class for 'normal' sophomores was not for me and I didn't want to be bored (see previous Stories from Childhood post about my mathematics education). I ended up in Sarkis' class, Pre-Calculus, which was mostly Juniors (a couple of seniors?), which was pretty intimidating - I didn't want to be 'that exchange student in the sophomore class who thinks she's really smart'. But I had a couple of really nice friends who were welcoming about it all. I did pretty well in the class - there were a few different ways that they taught stuff, but I suppose it's like they say in that movie, math is the same in every country! I particularly liked the fact that I knew a bit of the stuff we started off doing, but also learnt some other stuff along the way (which turned out to be stuff that I learnt in math classes the following year back in Australia!). And the boards on the other walls of the classroom (not already with windows) where we'd all solve a problem at the same time. The intention of the boards was so that the teacher could ask a question, and everybody could work it out on the board, and then we could look at how everybody else did it - collaborative (not the right word?!) learning. Interactive, maybe. It was great! I also remember gonig to a few one-on-one consultations with Sarkis, who was very kind and encouraging of my progress in math. My grade had nothing to do with how I was supposed to learn.

I was also in the Fall production of Claire Luce Booth's 'The Women', with the inimitable Marla. I'd never been in a play before. I think I took drama so I could avoid playing sport (field hockey or soccer. I'm really unco, truly.....). So over the course of the term, we selected a play, auditioned for parts, got the roles, rehearsed, put together the set, costumes and what nots. What an amazing experience! I had lines to learn as homework (however many it was...a fair few!). I auditioned for the part of the only non-adult (hah) in the play, the 7-or-so-year-old daughter of one of the main characters; I think I was the only person that wanted that particular role, so I suppose I was very lucky! We performed the show twice, I think (or maybe once, I don't even remember!). It was wonderful to be in the class with girls from other classes, especially the very talented seniors and juniors who were very kind and welcoming. I was lucky to play with Sara as my mother (what fun!) and to discuss American burgers with Crystal, hang with Molly....among many other things.

Alas, as mentioned before, I could go on for a long time about my time at Westover. It was truly wonderful, and a very life-forming experience. But it is late, and there are many stories, not enough time, and not enough energy at the present to tell them all.
Until next time....

Six months

I just want six months to not have an institutionalised schedule (much as it mostly works for me). Six months to sleep a decent number of hours each night. Six months to take time for myself. Six months to keep building relationships, and care more about the ones I have neglected for the past year. Six months of not functioning at 70% every day, and to not be constantly sick. Six months of exploring, learning, developing personally. Six months to be able to say yes to things I'd really like to do. Six months to spend time growing. Six months to see if I'm able to do freelance work (scary thought). Six months of not feeling like I'm always behind. Six months of not feeling under-prepared for so much. Six months of not doing stuff I don't particularly enjoy. Six months of being able to catch up with friends, able to spend time how I want to, and to care more.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, nor how I'm able to explain it. But I'm pretty sure I need it.

Random stories from childhood

I've been thinking in the last little while about various stories of my life. I think most of it is pretty boring, but when I try to re-tell it to myself or consider it from a more mature perspective, I find they are quirky. So I thought I'd try to re-tell some of them.....
In no particular order:

* Our family has been in Australia for seventeen years. I remember bits of it hazily, the whole leaving part. We had been staying at my mother's brother's house in KL and my aunt was pregant at the time. The day we left for Australia was the day that my cousin was born, so when his birthday rolls around each year, we remember how many years we've been here.
It was quite strange. I don't really remember much about it, except that at the airport, my parents and extended were very sad. Everybody was crying. I didn't understand why, I just thought we'd see them again soon. Youthful ignorance...

* I got my first mobile phone at the age of about seventeen. It was an old model from my cousin, which I didn't mind. It was the first time I had a phone! It was pretty exciting. I remember trying to figure out predictive text by myself for the first time and getting so confused and frustrated that I vowed to not use it. But I asked a friend of mine and she explained it all. Since then, I've used predictive text.. :P

* Taking Food and Nutrition classes at high school were great fun. They were essentially cooking classes. It was an elective in grades nine and ten, which I elected to take. I pretty much didn't know how to cook before that. I still don't feel overly confident in the kitchen, but the classes were good at least for letting me try stuff! I also took Cake Decorating in grade ten, much to the amusement and enjoyment of my brother. Subject selection in pre-TEE serious years requires one to put in a ranking of subjects that one would like to take. Not all of them have to be ranked, indicating that you don't want to take the subject at all. I indicated Cake Decorating at No. 5 (my last preference), thinking that it was such a low rank that there was no way that I'd be taking it. Much to my surprise, however, it turned up on my timetable. I was actually an average student in that class, but again, not very confident. And possibly the funnest slack class because of what we were doing, although I have to admit that I didn't enjoy the people in my class overly much.

* In year 8 Maths, possibly in the first class (which was already somewhat streamed), Mrs Sawyer gave us a diagnostic test. It was possibly one of the easiest things I'd done, and subsequently got it all right. The teacher soon after spoke to me and told me it'd be boring to keep me back through high school if I had already learnt lots of the stuff. So she had a meeting with my parents later, and my proposed maths schedule for the next few years was as such: I would take Yr 8 maths as per normal, and in Yr 9, I would study both Yr9 and Yr10 Maths. The teacher for both my yr 8 and 10 maths was the same so she could spend one day a week teaching me the material and helping me out. And then the plan was that by the time I got into Yr 10, I could take one of the Yr 11 maths, and in Yr 11 take one of the TEE maths, giving me more space in my schedule to fit in another TEE subject if I so desired. So in yr 10, I was going to one of my yr10 math classes with friends in my year, but my maths class was the Yr 11 Geometry and Trigonometry class. Now, it is a fairly strange concept in Perth (or at my school) at least that girls in different years are in the same class. The system works by what grade you are in. So, I felt a bit of a loner in this class, even though I knew of most of the girls. Thankfully, there were some very kind people, and the class members as a whole were nice. As it turns out, I was doing well in Yr 9 with the extra maths simultaneously, but ended up going on exchange halfway through yr10. Therefore, when I came back to St Mary's in yr 11, I re-enrolled in Geometry and Trigonometry (with possibly the same teacher??) again and took the class (and the subsequent year) as per 'normal' with my year.

* In pre-primary, which I attended for about two and a half months when we first moved to Australia, we had a Christmas event at the end of the year. Our class put on a 'production' of Wombat Stew. (Classic!). I remember I was one of the animals and had to wear a mask, and dance around in a circle. Fun.
Then 'Santa' came to give out presents and visit us. Our parents had been prior to this to provide a present for their child that Santa could distribute. I don't think I ever believed in Santa, and this was well and truly confirmed at the age of five when this Santa gave me a present, and it was a box of coloured pencils, very similar to a number of other boxes of very similar coloured pencils we had in a drawer at home.

* My brother and I used to share a room at at old house. The room itself was actually fairly large. We had a cavity in the wall where the old TV sat - spoiled children much?!?! Admittedly, we didn't watch it that much...although I do remember towards the end of our time there watching some cricket (for the most part, dead boring to me!). My bedtime was usually earlier than my brother's, but sometimes if I hadn't fallen asleep, I'd hear him being tucked in. Or sometimes he was noisy, and I'd get woken up and be very annoyed! He also breathes quite loudly which used to annoy me out of my brain that sometimes I'd poke him until he turned the other way... :P

* I've had relatives and other family friends tell me that I have my maternal grandfather's facial shape. It's funny, I don't really communicate much with my grandparents as both of my mum's parents don't really speak English (my grandfather not at all), and I suppose largely because most of my childhood was spent growing up away from them. So to have a physical link to my grandparents (besides the obvious one) is something that makes me think that I really am identifiable with my family, but still in a distanced way.


That's it for today's installment. More random stories to come another day....

How did it get to be halfway through already??

Wow, the first week has gone by so quickly!
Holidays....NOT......
'Non-teaching period' just means I don't have to go to my oh-so-strenuous twelve hours of class. That doesn't mean that it's not trying though....which I assure you, some of it is!
I've had some rehearsals, which have been good. I've already watched two trashy chick flicks in boredom. I've cooked a little. I went shopping last weekend with A & E for jeans (successful, yay!) and little else, pity. Oh well.
Had a Quintet Day, which involved a rehearsal, Yum Cha for lunch and an OV concert. It was fun :) The boundaries blur a little with these things - sometimes not a good thing, I suppose in other professions, but perhaps good at this stage??
Sorry if I can't manage to squeeze you in this coming week. Help me out here, it's pretty crazy...

Monday 28th: Morning practice; 2pm Rehearsal; 4pm Play in Horn Masterclass. There's supposed to be three people, but one hasn't contacted me, so I hope she's not expecting me to play for her..

Tuesday 29th: Morning practice; Lunch with my cousin whom I haven't seen for about seven years (!!); Vocal Ensemble rehearsal 3pm; 4.15 meeting with a classmate for a tute presentation; Back at college for 5.30 shift of SCR duty

Wednesday 30th: Trio rehearsal in the morning; Own practice; 3pm Rehearsal at South Melbourne; 4pm Play in horn masterclass. Have to learn 1st movement of Hindemith in four days...eek!! Night: Mnozil Brass concert. If you haven't seen these guys, check it out on YouTube, they're pretty cool! I incidentally also won tickets to another concert on the same night, but unfortunately can't be in two places at the same time. If anybody figures out how, let me know. I would owe you big time.

Thursday 1st: Quintet Day, involving two tutes (eek!), thankfully (hopefully?!) separated by lunch, hopefully followed by Guitar Hero.....supposed to be on duty in the evening too, but desparately trying to swap it!!

Friday 2nd: Morning practice; soundcheck for weekend in the morning; possibly a concert to play in at 12pm; Play in Horn Masterclass (but nobody's contacted me yet, so who knows?!?!)

Saturday 3rd: Trio; 1.30pm Russian concert (some celebratory concert, where we're playing Kurtag, which is possibly the very opposite of celebratory, considering that the last movement of 6mins duration, which is half the piece, is a slow passacaglia of approximately 25-30bars resembling death....) Should be hilariously awkward :P 2pm Engagement Party #1; 7.30pm Engagement Party #2

Sunday 4th: Somebody remind me to change my clock....
MSV Comp 2.30pm We're playing sometime in the concert.....

So sorry if I can't fit you in, I'll try my best...but I'm supposedly also working on two group presentations, preparing accompaniment for possibly two important auditions, doing a few assignments (huh, what??), keeping on top of stuff. No wonder I haven't had time to work on my own solo stuff :( That's ok, something has to give, right?

And if anybody can help me out with why blogger is not in the nice new formatting style that doesn't have this awful old-school font, I would be very appreciative.

Other thoughts have included:
Why am I playing so much 20th/21st century music? And what's with the sharp increase (read, infinity-sized) of Hindemith in the past three weeks? From nothing to two!
And why aren't I going to Tasmania with anybody? Please tell me somebody is going, and I can hang with them?!?! I'm scared..!
Also have not liked thinking about life after this year :( What to do, where to live. It's scary and I don't know.
I adore playing and hanging out with you guys. You're wonderful :)
I miss you guys heaps, I feel like I've lost touch with you because I've been so busy :( How to make it go back to how it was???
I always thought I was one of those people who knew exactly what was going on, and always had a plan. Now I'm not so sure. And I'm not sure if I like it. Nor if I can trust that it's all going to work out nicely.

Found about AYO stuff last week.....and I clicked the green 'Accept' button for 2010 Chamber Music Camp. I'm excited, should be good. Though I'm a little scared, because my wind/brass/percussion friends obviously can't do it. So I hope I know some people, or at least get on really well with the people I'll be playing with *scared smile*

Melbourne's being Melbourne again, of course. A week and a day ago, it was the most beautiful day - ate lunch in the sun and absorbed amounts of Vitamin D. We even went for gelate in the afternoon and B & I stayed out talking in the park till he had to head off. It was great! And then somehow the past few days have turned to winter....*dislike* I don't get it!!

A two week reprieve?

Finally, the mid-semester break, which is positioned not mid-semester. Whatever.
It has been a crazy past two months; I've tried to keep smiling through all of August and as much September has happened. I don't think I realised how hard it was going to be to consistently putting my body and brain under so much pressure, day-in day-out with not much rest in-between it all.
There have been class performances, rehearsals extraordinaire, phone calls back and forth, not being able to get onto people, assignemnts to look forward to (urgh), an enjoyable football match, a mini (or not so insignificant) Victorian road-trip to Geelong and Ballarat, fun times playing and hanging out backstage, Asian photos, meeting K.Rudd, a couple of trips to South Melbourne, fun playing times, extra meetings here and there.....
And that was within two weeks...

So, there are two weeks of 'Non-teaching' which apparently ≠ holidays. Well, I'm pretty sure that is true in my case.
Here is what needs to be done:
*Australian Economic History: write essay; tute prep (working in advance on a presentation a classmate and I have to do in week 10); lecture/tute reading
*Experimental Economics: Assignment (tute presentation with two other classmates); reading; problem set

Question: How did I end up with two tute presentations in my final semester of university? I think I've only ever done two in my entire degree(s!) so far!!

*Accounting: Quickbooks assignment (gross), possibly after learning HOW to use Quickbooks in the first place..; tute prep; reading I haven't done for the past.....errr...seven weeks :S; learning material I haven't understood for the past....six weeks.... :S
How did first year subjects get so hard?!?!

*Organise Chamber Music stuff, including tutes and dates for exams..
*Have rehearsals for Vocal Ensemble, for a Composition project
*Think about next year (actually suspecting this is losing all novelty value very quickly as it looms and is scary. If anybody would like to help me out, I would love you forever...)
*Rehearsals for auditions/other fun stuff....
*Work: Library, also possibly a teaching gig, MIFB (horn masterclasses woo!)
*Trio rehearsals woo! And a concert for some Russian celebratory thing......I can't really remember the details, but all I know is that it's going to be hilarious (as we're playing the Kurtag, not very 'celebratory'...) and really awkward :P
*Quintet days! Day 1: Rehearsal, lunch, concert Day 2: Tutes. Yes, multiple. With lunch in-between. And possibly some fun shenanigans afterwards to chill out :) Fun-ness.
*Go to concerts, including MIFB stuff, possibly others...??

Yes....so....that 'holiday' ey....?

a few points

* So, I said that it'd be less busy this week. Whatever. About ten rehearsals in all this week. Eek. STRESS (just a little)
* Subsequently, have cancelled work, and possibly will cancel all other things that aren't super-pressing. Sorry :(
* In that promo video when asked "Who are you?" I should have said, with the sign to accompany, "I'm Asian!". Probably one-third of the church would have cried with laughter, some more than others. :D The best ideas always come after the actual thing. Everybody already knew I was crazy, little and eccentric.....
* Essaying not going so well. Gross. So hard. Interesting, but hard.
* Really enjoying this version of the Beethoven - piano part so interesting, why can't I play like that?
* Desk needs some serious cleaning. I'm serously contemplating paying somebody to do it for me...as well as the rest of the house...
* Still debating about next weekend. Ahh, don't know what to decide. At first, I was like, "totally yes!" but now I'm not so sure. Cop out, ey? Sigh...
* I'm exhausted
* As I trammed into the city, away from uni, to South Melbourne today (in the middle of the day!) I felt this thing that said 'Wow, this is so liberating!' and didn't really feel like returning to the real world of uni...sadness!

Crazy times

Fun happenings -
Music Ball: Cool big band (yes, that's right, live music!), a night to party with some awesome friends (unfortunately not all of them came, but that's ok), a swanky venue, many people dressed to the 20s theme, crazy dancing, fun photos, hat-stealing, nice bathrooms, chips and salad with our main, delicious dessert, a hilarious piggy-back race along the pier, standing around trying to figure out what to do after the ball (we stood around for about half an hour hah), maxi-taxi-ing.

Dinner with friends: sometimes at short notice. Been very impressed that they've happened, as I usually am one of thsoe people who doesn't do short notice that well. One was some beautiful pumpkin soup. The other was a drive to Burwood for some long-overdue catching up. And another was brought round to do some communal cooking. 'Tis been good.

Lunch (yum-cha): after quintet rehearsal. Three out of the five of us (I think!) had never eaten it before, so it was all a bit of fun. And tasty it was!

Concerts: Melb Uni Orchestra. Interesting - I hear lots about the happenings of orchestra through these string/woodwind/brass friends of mine...times like this that I wish I played one of those! Oh well...had a small though dedicated contingent to come hear the very Romantic programme (Mussourgsky, Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky). Also had MYO concert - more Rachmaninoff (Symphonic Dances) which has a cool piano part in the first movement. Fun concert, really good concert. Ravel 'La Valse' and Shostakovich 2nd piano concerto also on the menu. If you haven't heard the 2nd movt of the Shosta before, DO IT. Most beautiful thing I've heard in a long time!

Trio-ing & Quintet-ing: Plugging away at both. I think I go through phases where one seems to be going better then the other one. But I love them both very much - I couldn't bear to pick between them if I had to! This semester is very different repertoire to each other (unlike Mozart wash in E Flat Major like last!) - there is Beethoven Quintetting (similar to Mozart, but different too) and Trio-ing with Kurtag and Smit. Both 20th-century. Both quite different to Mozart!
We played some Beethoven in a couple of classes already - felt a little bit unprepared personally but it's getting there. Just need to sit down and do it, and not rely on how awesome the individual players are! Aired Kurtag yesterday in class - it's quite interesting, very Webern-like in some ways, very dramatic elsewhere. But it went down really well yay! Smit *should* be fairly straightforward to put together - there are some seriously sexy harmonies in that!

Have had super-long days of uni, especially Thursdays. Some longer than others. Including one fine example: 8am at uni to practice, 9.30am rehearsal in Melba, 10am Accounting lecture, 11am play in Concert Class, 12pm Australian Economic History lecture, 1.15pm Careers seminar, 2.15-3.45pm Experimental Economics class, 4.15-6.15pm Vocal Ensemble, 7.30pm Seminar at Trinity, 8.45pm collapse at home ready to fall into bed....

Have had a few things due at uni too; did quite well in my first two commerce assignments - Accounting (thanks to my tutor for guiding me!) and Australian Ec. History (Argument maping with cool software....anyway, the piont of this was to say that I didn't think I did a great job of it, mine was only A4 fairly small type, and I didn't think that I'd covered the points that well, but still did really well even though I was really worried when I saw other people's A3 tiny type).

Practically threw Mozart Miscellany together to a fairly high degree of success. It was a bit disconcerting that the repertoire was mostly very comfortable - not sure if I've ever experienced something like that before! ACU were very welcoming, some familiar faces in the crowd (thanks guys!) and the sextet were of course, amazing :) Love your work!

Played for Hephzibah Menuhin prelims. Had a little break in the middle, so went to a very nice cafe to have a HoCho date where we sat under the stairs. 'Twas beautiful :) Found out 'we' got into the instrument finals - was informed with this message: "We're in". I love how little we sometimes need to say, we're just on this different wavelength. I suppose that happens when you've known someone for a while and worked intensely with them, it's good. I like those partnerships.

Which segueways really well into this next point.....

I really like workshopping things and developing a relationship with people when I play with them - for me it's quite personal. I know they say it works better when you click musically, but I also am a big fan of clicking personally. Which is why I've found myself through the course of this year caring much for my trio and quintet (and also sextet!) and those people - they're the ones I see myself as aligned to. And that's not really the case at the Academy - they put things together on an ad hoc basis and pull people together as required. And there isn't really structure to how it operates. And even though my stuff and times change all the time, having some sort of structure with definites is my thing. And I'm not ready to undertake their super-rigorous programme just yet. Maybe next year, dunno. Not sure. So I officially withdrew my application.
But I'm thankful that my long-held belief that boys don't talk was shattered when I had alluded to one friend in a text message that I wasn't so sure about my audition, talked to another friend about it briefly and then the first friend called me that evening after talking to friend 2. I'm pretty chuffed to discover that they do indeed talk. And I was really thankful that friend 1 called (and that friend 2 also was concerned).
Anyway, so I actually decided, and thought it'd be important to let friend 1 and 2 know, along with some others. And I felt really relieved when I rang them up. The lady who I talked to was very kind - the conversation went a bit like this:
Me: "I'd like to talk to somebody about my audition"
Lady: "Yes, I can do that, when is your audition scheduled for?"
Me: "Tomorrow, 3.40pm. I'd actually like to officially withdraw my application."
Lady: "You don't want to reschedule? We can find a different day for you if you'd like"
Me: "Thank you, but I'm sure I would like to not audition at all as I don't think it'll be necessary.." (etc. other stuff)
Yes! She was so nice that she wanted to double-check that I didn't want a rescheduled time. She was quite comforting too, and it made me feel like I wasn't putting them at great inconvenience, which is something I don't particularly like doing either.

So, a serious load lifted after I hung up. And of course, I managed to land myself another four gigs after withdrawing for the next week and a half. Hah. What would my life be if it wasn't like this? :P A couple of them VERY short notice, but I did ok, I think.

But the recent tumblings and turnings especially of the last two and a bit weeks have made me realise how fortunate and blessed I am to have these amazing friends. Those that I know continue to support me even though I suddenly become absent and snowed under, those that will pray when I ask them, those that will check in with me to see if it's all going ok, those that call or text or email and put a smile on my face, those that would disagree with my decisions but still support me, those that give up their time to help me out, those that let me be silly and crazy and help me just relax and smile even if for a little while. Thank you, you guys are amazing.

I think I've cried more in the past three weeks than in the past while I can remember - perhaps....previous three months?! It has been a tough August, rolling into September. But I think (hope?!) I'm on the upswing - it can only get better!
And remember, we just gotta keep on truckin' and keep smiling....

One person

You know how through school many people have that one best friend?
I figured out pretty early on that I didn't have just that one person. Instead, I liked having several really close friends, the ones that I couldn't bestow the title of 'best friend' upon, because the others would be disappointed.
I've quite liked the idea of having several, and grown into the notion that this is totally sustainable :) You know, good friends for different things. It may well be hard to have that one person understand absolutely everything (even though they may try!) unless they're pretty much the same as you - and that would be weird....!

On the flipside, what happens when you're in a place where you need to talk to somebody and you can't quite put your finger on the right person to listen? That's the tricky part...
as well as when it's commonly assumed that just because you're an old-hand at the stuff around here doesn't mean you don't have moments of weakness

Music

I hope music will never not be a part of my life.
Even though it feels like I'm spending a lot of my time at The Spot, the new Economics and Commerce building, and a lot of my time is spent reading textbooks that explain theory, and articles about different perspectives and history. I can't say I've ever worked so hard in a different way before - I'd almost forgotten what it was to have to sit down at a desk and study so much! On the flipside, it is possible to bring some of this homework out and about, like on public transport, or to uni to fill in an hour here and there.

The Uni Orchestra is playing a concert on Monday night. Unfortunately, there is no orchestral piano in either of programmes this semester, so I am bitterly disappointed that I won't spend any of my final semester doing orchestra with uni. Thank goodness for MYO and that Rachmaninoff's Symphonic Dances has a fairly significant piano solo in the first movement! One of the pieces the uni orchestra is playing is Mussorgsky's "Night on a Bald Mountain". (It was going to be John Adams' "Short Ride in a Fast Machine" which has two optional synthesiser parts, but alas, it was not to be so!).

The Mussorgsky has a very special place in my heart, actually....that, along with Tchaikovsky's Cappricio Italien were the first two pieces I ever played in a symphony orchestra. It was part of the Shell Concert Combined Orchestra, which was the grand finale of a concert that featured the public secondary schools' music programmes (largely made up of Churchlands, Perth Mod, Rossmoyne, other large public schools). The combined orchestra was auditioned - I think it was the first external audition I did, at least on violin. I was actually in year seven, one of only two - the rest of the orchestra were secondary school students, so I felt really special that I was chosen!

It was the first time I had a sectional - it was a little scary, I was playing 2nd violin in the second or third desk, and having to all play our one part in this sectional was intimidating, because I was supposed to be playing the same thing as everybody else. Of course, I didn't really know how to approach this all, so I hadn't listened to the repertoire (this is what happens when you're twelve and have never heard of doing this sort of thing before!). But I struggled through the first sectional and resolved to practice my part so I didn't feel or sound like an idiot the next time.

By the time the full orchestra came together, I was fairly overwhelmed with all the new instruments and their sounds. It was a pretty amazing feeling - I didn't know what an oboe or a french horn was previously, and suddenly they had all these bits! We were conducted by Trevor Green, who I distinctly remember thinking was very cool, because he had been Principal Cellist with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra (somewhere that sounded really good!). There is one bit in the Tchaikovsky where he wanted the strings to sort of sound 'muddy' - in the swirling way, swirling down and becoming a rich pool (rather than being messy!). And the end of that piece introduced me to beating in one! Boy, was that fast, I thought!

The concert was pretty amazing, except for the last little bit in the Tchaikovsky - there was a minor miscommunication and the oboe was cued wrongly, and everybody in the orchestra knew where it was supposed to sound, and we were all singing it in our heads as the conductor and oboist desparately tried to pull it all together. But overall it went very successfully. And what an amazing feeling it was - the sound was glorious, and audience loved it. I felt so proud to be part of that.

Subsequent involvement in orchestras have been amazing for me - from Combined Anglican Schools' concerts (on violin), right through to the Australian Youth Orchestra. Some of the funnest repertoire I have played has been in orchestra, on violin. CAS concerts have included the Pergolesi Mass (I think?! I know it was Baroque, was chamber orchestra - so cool! And there was a great choir, and AB worked really hard!), Bizet's 'Jeux d'Enfants', 'Mars' and 'Jupiter' from Holst's 'The Planets', amazing settings/compositions of William Blake's 'The Tyger' and 'The Lamb'. I was also very fortunate to have a director of music at my high school who pushed really hard for us year nines to be in the orchestra (apparently not that frequent because there are lots of people across six schools who play violin!). In school orchestras, we explored some great string music - some of the stuff on tour: parts of Dvorak's Serenade for Strings, as well as the Elgar, Britten's Simple Symphony; we tried Barber's Adagio for Strings, Vaughan William's Fantasia on Greensleves, and Vivaldi's Concerto for Four Violins in b minor (there was a very good reason why they put us four girls across that front!).

Don't get me wrong, it has been amazing to play keyboard in the orchestra - there has been the thrill of West Side Story, the amazing feeling I got when across the 30-odd metres of the orchestra, the double basses and piano lined up in the first movement of Shostakovich 5. Or when the celeste is used as the most amazing orchestral colour, at the most poignant moments.

I have been very blessed to have such amazing orchestral experiences - something that has resulted from being a pianist so enthusiastic to get into orchestra (at least partly because most of my friends were playing in orchestra!), and learning violin for a number of years, and having some great teachers who pushed hard for me to have opportunities.

Something different

Two days of uni done. Not too many hours, but it's been strange. Not because I haven't had that much uni and have been around for long hours. That would be expected.
No, something quite different....
I technically only have three hours of music classes this semester. This makes me very upset. I'm taking three commerce classes - this makes me really scared.....
So that leaves little music, which has been so unlike anything else I've done for the past four and a half years. Hence the difference.
But being me, I'm trying to do as much music as I can fit in - so this means extra chamber music (ie. more than required), accompanying where I can, being involved in all sorts of projects (think: opera, vocal fun, other collaborations. Wow, I love collaborations).

Am taking things that could either sound terribly dry or interesting, depending on which way you look at it:
* Accounting Reports and Analysis. Unfortunately, I think this sits squarely in the dry category. I'm hoping that I understand Accounting...it's a 1st year subject, and hopefully having tackled things like Econometrics, I will already have learnt the value of persistance and hard work and apply that to Accounting.
* Australian Economic History. I've always been quite interested in history, just never really done it at all. But I just started reading a book "A Concise History of Australia" tonight. It's a weird sensation.....
There is much reading for this subject - two whole readers! I've never done this much reading for any single subject haha. But I'm taking it because Jeff Borland is teaching it. Hopefully it's interesting.
* Experimental Economics. So far the most interesting class - the first class of the week is spent doing an experiment that simulates a famous economic experiment. The second class is devoted discussing the results and explaining theory and how it works or fails. It is the most interesting, for several reasons. Firstly, the subject material, I think. And the way the class works. Sometimes we'll do an experiment with no idea what theory we are considering. Secondly, the class is small (rare in my experience of the Eco & Comm fac); about 15-20 students. And there are postgrad students, and PhD students. Eek! I feel really young, and seriously dumb already! Thirdly, one randomly selected student in the class each week will receive the earnings he/she earns in the experiment from the lecturer. Yes, that's right - apart from the intrinsic interest we all should have to attend the class, there is also an incentive!

So, at the moment I'm feeling a little intimidated by what it means to be a commerce student. Of course, my usual lifestyle equates to much music-king, inside and outside of uni requirements. I suppose now there will be much more attributed to the 'outside' argument! I'm supposedly preparing for an audition in a month's time (EEEK!!!!!); thankfully I've already done my AYO audition (not sure about how that went, but oh well....can't do much about that now). I heard back from AISOI, with a positive response - now I'm just getting a bit frustrated with the fact that they aren't replying to me hopefully regarding reduced costs associated with reduced programme length for me as a pianist (not required 2nd week). But I think I'm keen to do the programme, it looks exciting, and will be a good opportunity. I would just be sad if my friends aren't going too...I know, kinda sounds like a dumb reason, but I do care (yes, I'm human!).

Trying to get on top of assessment dates and the like (eek, scary commerce subjects!), and sorting out my life at present. Hopefully it works out soon enough.....

Will be playing in the 3rd MYO concert this year (hehe...I've managed to be playing in MYO for the majority of this year!), Rachmaninoff Symphonic Dances - great piano part! Unfortunately, Uni Orchestra has no orchestral keyboard stuff, so our grand vision of "How awesome would it be if we were all principal in the final orchestra concert of uni???" isn't going to happen with all of us :( I wonder why I picked a non-orchestral instrument......!

It's all getting a bit busy at the present - weekend plans may have to be dampened to get all this work done! Hopefully I'll get on top of it. I'll try to keep being the bubbly person I am, apologies if I can't all the time - please be patient with me, because I'm not sure if I'll enjoy this semester as much as I normally do.

Holidays?

So that planned sleep-in for the day straight after the exam period finished? That didn't really happen...there was much to do: go to the market, practice some piano, do some shopping. Pity I only lasted about two and a half hours with the shopping...

But the holidays had started in my usual style - busy. Stuff to do, places to go, people to see :)
Went to ANAM concert courtesy of E with comp tickets. Rang about four friends to see if they wanted to come, because I knew they'd be particularly interested, but they were in the wrong city, or had something else on, or were sick. Lame. Whatever haha. Ended up going with C; quite a few friends went, so it wasn't a completely solitary affair!

Anyway...so shopping......how un-girly of me. I bought a pair of jeans and a(nother black) top. Didn't break the bank either, which I always like. Did get accosted by cosmetic stand guy who got annoyed when I said I didn't want to buy his product. Collected photo print-outs. They're currently adorning my walls and stuff. They're very happy. Many to do with music....which makes me v. happy :)

Had a couple of rehearsals for another 3MBS Live at the Convent performance that I did with A. It was fun. And pretty good...especially because we'd put it together three days before the actual thing (Note: it's a live broadcast!). I suppose it shows what can be done when you've been playing together (at least fairly regularly) for the last two and a half years....it's nice :) I like that there are a few people for which that holds, and that it means we can do stuff easily. Or just build on that. :)

Spent a lovely Monday lunch in the sun (most of the time, unless it went behind the clouds). It was nice just to eat, and to relax and chill out. Don't get me wrong, I like working hard (be it at the piano, or organising on the email or something like that), but there is a beauty to relaxing with friends over food in beautiful weather.

Then did 3MBS on Tuesday. We caught the bus for the first time in Melbourne. Like, a public transport service bus (that wasn't a tram replacement). It was pretty exciting hehe. And thankfully, easy too! The bakery was strangely (and I'm hoping, uncharacteristicxally) not as good as normal. But we sufficed. Even with ho-chos that were really milky most of the way until the bottom when it all hit us...even with cups that were really cool (think popping a little bit in the top to create the lip!)

Had MRC stuff for Chamber Music Comp that night.....including a welcome reception where the room was full of very important people. Introduced myself to Dame Elisabeth Murdoch though, that was pretty cool. Then off to Fitzroy for a 'celebratory drink'. Really arty place, really not *really* our thing, but it was fun anyway. And at the least, amusing to peek in on the Improvisation going on upstairs!

Pretty chilled the next day - practice. Catch up with a friend, of to MRC. (3rd time in 5 days, never been so often to that place until this week!) Helped out a little....ran into some familiar faces, which was nice. Enjoy the concert very much.

Did an audition the next day....don't worry, I'd been practicing for the days leading up to it too! It's one good way of keeping busy! As I told a friend later, "Oh, it took about forty minutes all up!" That is, one audition. It's like that, I suppose. But I can understand his reaction ("Forty minutes?!?!"), I suppose most auditions don't actually go for that long haha! Went to Winter Jam that night (played keys tonight woo!) then was really hungry (as I have been getting at 10pm this week, just been eating dinner really early because I've needed to be at places fairly early in the evening), so went to get some churros with a friend. So. Tasty. As another friend has once put it, "Churros are just deep-fried and covered in oil"....but I enjoyed it all the same, especially covered in chocolate :)

I said I was going to take Friday off. But no. I had this moment of "Oh, what shall I do?" And the obvious answer was Practice! So that I did. But it was really relaxed. Like, reading through stuff, taking it easy. It was beautiful. And then M and I read through a couple of gorgeous French songs. :) Did some more ushering that night (watching concert too!), asked for another ticket (our allocation was 2) so that a friend could come along. Always makes it more fun when you go to a concert with somebody (not that I haven't gone by myself, or that there wouldn't be people, I suppose!) but that you can definitely discuss it with that person! And the company is always appreciated :)
Stayed around after that for a little while talking to people, which was cool. Then headed up to F's house for her going-away party. It was really nice. Just really sad at the end. Yes, there were waterworks. :( I will miss her lots, but she'll be back here for a bit here and there. And it's thankfully not *too* far away.

Actually took yesterday off from practice. I mean that. Did not touch the piano. Quite liberating, a little scary. Better not get too used to it!
But slept in, called home (took a little while!), then it was lunchtime already haha. Went off in the afternoon to have a Chiasma meeting. Stayed talking for a little while, then hopped on a tram to come home for a bit. Ran into the people I was going to have dinner with on the way home, which was pretty funny (they had just come back from the footy). Chilled out, fluffed around a little. Went to diner. Fun-ness. But had to wait for a while, which was a pity, but we dealt. Food was so good. Arguments were funny.
Atari/Intellivision. Forks/spoons. Splades/sporks.
We ate so well.
Then we played fooseball. Some are much better than others. That's ok. :)

Also had a pretty relaxing day today.....bit of practice, a lot of nothinging-around. Watched 'my' trio online....(the one I was supposed to be page-turning for but they didn't realise, so they asked one of their friends, so I was out of that job...oh well....But they were in the finals, so I watdhed. And they WON the trio section woo! Anyway..)
Started packing. Wow, I always remember/forget (I know they're contradictory terms..) how much I dislike it. As well as unpacking, when I get around to it.. :S

And now it's already in the "All Night Classics" segment on radio..which means it's late.....
Oh well, I'll sleep well tomorrow.

Anyway...
It has been an amazing semester. Despite the stress, frustrations and what nots, I have enjoyed most of it! Particularly the music of it all. I just seem to find ways to play even more each semester, but I love it. And I do it because I enjoy it so much, and I enjoy making music with you guys so much. I know two weeks isn't that long, but hopefully I won't miss you too much! Adios for now....catch you soon for the upcoming months of projects... :D

Stumbling along

....and just like that, my one and only exam is over.
How anti-climatic. But sheer relief is the feeling that swept over me.

It has been a busy busy time....
vocal exams, rehearsals, studying, rehearsals, concerts, rehearsals, studying, rehearsals.
I love it though (the rehearsals part...)
Done a little bit of Melbourne suburbia on the train...I quite enjoy it, even if it does take more time. It's quite exciting to see where people live, and to go to the suburbs and see the various characters.

Mozart and Strauss have been the pillars of this semester's music-ing.
There is a bit more to go (of the Strauss sort).


Okay, so I left this post for a while, and now it's another day...let me continue...

And just like that, all the exams are over. Mine and the others'. They went mostly ok. Some more satisfying than others, some more comfortable than others. But very happy for them all.
Yes, I tend to get personally involved in them. Even if I really shouldn't. But that's just me. And if it doesn't turn out so well, so be it - some of them are not there for me to feel personally responsible.
There has been much money spent on food. There has been some funny (read: strange) events. Of weird coincidences; interesting. There have been things to hang on to, things to return (still pending hehe). There has been standing in the cold, but totally worth it.
I miss being ridiculously busy.....(I never think I'll say that, but hey, there it is!)
I wonder if we should talk...?

The end of the semester

What? Another semester gone already!
One more hour of required class to go to. And then it's twelve weeks of the undergraduate installment. Eek.
Much has happened in the past two weeks.
There has been much playing, most of all. Playing of trio music, of quintet music, Strauss concerto, other music. There has been applying for AYO and AISOI. There have been final assessments: conducting tests, chamber music exams (if you missed these, you missed out big time. They were awesome. But you'll be able to catch us on the radio. Even if you're not in this city! The other one, I hope you get to hear it sometime soon, because it was awesome. Not kidding.) There have been fun times two-piano-ing. There has been some MYO-ing (and more to come).
Oh, and I've managed to go to uni in-between all that. Which apparently has one commerce class somewhere....

So, pretty much, lots of music-king. Enough in the last two weeks to confirm that this is what I want to do. How, is another question. I've been asked quite a bit in the last three months, "What are you going to do next year?" The truthful answer is "I don't know." It scares me quite a bit.
I'd like to stay in this city - I've definitely fallen in love with it. And I don't think I could leave the people I've met here. But I know some of them are moving, or might move. And that makes me a little bit sad - all of the people I've met in my time here have shaped the way the last four and half years have happened. I know life keeps moving, but there are parts of me that sometimes want it to go back in time, or for time to stand still for a while so that things can be replayed, or happen for a long time without any change.

I'd like to go elsewhere in the not-so-distant future though. Sydney was an option, there is a course I'd like to pursue up there, but I'm not sure I could fall in love with the city as much as I have here. And there's the prospect of Manchester, which is somewhere I'd really like to go. But I know that's far, and the opportunity, if it arises, would be awesome. I know I'd be very sad though.

I thought I had a really clear idea, but now I'm not so sure. I'd like to think of myself as a forward-planner, but really, that's only for some things. Dreams. Not necessarily practical. I'm possibly organised, but not necessarily a planner. In some ways, much of my life is really circumstantial - stuff happens because it happens (although planned by somebody far greater than me!). I just let it happen, and hopefully take the right ones and run with them. So I'm sorry if I haven't gotten down and had the real conversation I've been meaning to have with you just yet - to find out how you're really going and stuff like that. I've just been having it with other people.

I'm terribly scared. Of what may or may not happen.
What would happen if I dared?

Ahh! Overload...!

So. Much. Mozart.
Don't get me wrong, I love Mozart. But there's just so. much. of. it. right. now.
Concerti.
Trio.
Quintet.
Sonata.
Arias.
Whole operas.

Almost everyday this week, I've gotten two new bits of music.
Fun. Just so. much. to. learn.

Please be patient with me.
The downside to being asked to do stuff? Over-commitment. And my inability to say no.
I'm very slowly learning.

So much for an early night....!

So hopefully this is the turnaround of being a bad friend. Key point being hopefully. I will at least attempt it.
Been in virtual hiding for a bit, although my activity on Facebook might say otherwise.
Flew back to Melbourne, took the most ridiculous (and expensive) taxi ride due to the ineptitude driver. Was grumpy. Sunday pretty relaxed (although I was supposedly on a tight schedule...go figure..), met up with a friend to practice some German and ended up talking for a little while. Got to see his house though, it's very cool!
And thus began the three weeks of lockdown/craziness.

Orchestra
Was asked to play in orchestra two weeks before the concert. Stravinsky's Firebird suite. It's not easy. I got my music at noon on Monday, and was expected to be at the rehearsal, ready to go at 5.30pm that afternoon. I looked at it for 20mins and almost lost the plot. Thankfully, the conductor was forgiving as I explained to him the situation, apologising for my lack of preparation and promising that by the next week it'd be perfect. Orchestra took up Monday night, Tuesday night, Sunday afternoon, the following Monday night, Tuesday night and Thursday afternoon before the concert Thursday night. So, I could make those times, but those were actually the times I was supposed to be doing those assignments. Oh, I see why I got so time-deprived....
It was fun though. I really enjoy doing orchestra, particularly as most of my friends are orchestra players. The organisation of it was miserable (the fault of the top admin, I believe) but the actual playing was ok, and the learning experience good.
A few friends came to the concert, which was quite exciting - the message going around was that a lot of them couldn't make it, which I was getting a little sad about. P said it was a reflection of how many good friends I had, or moreso, which ones were actually the good ones! Haha. I was pleasantly surprised to see one friend, didn't think he was coming at all, so that was nice!
Went to the afterparty for a little longer than intended, but it was really nice to hang out with those friends as well as musos afterwards. The usual crowd, fun times :)

Birthdays
The celebration of three in one week. My actual birthday was a very busy day, so it didn't feel particularly celebratory except for the masses of FB love and text messages :) Couldn't really party big time though with lots of uni on, rehearsal to attend, and tests the next day to study for! But thanks to everybody who did send greetings and love, muchly appreciated :)
Two days later, we carried out the most unsurprising and awkward birthday surprise party. It was pretty funny in retrospect. So much effort had been put into the operation, I was very impressed. There was some behind-the-scenes communication on the inside, a decoy, and a nice turn-out. Amazing party food (woo!) and good company.
Actually celebrated my own birthday a little bit over two occasions: dinner at Thaila Thai (followed by the Comfy Chair afterwards, not planned, but the night was left open) and then brunch the following morning at Cicalata. Both were lovely occasions, it was good to hang out with friends for some time over the weekend, pretty blissful :) Thanks to those who did come to celebrate, and no worries to those who couldn't make it. It was fun, but not a huge deal frankly - still had much work and business to attend to that weekend, so it was some good relief and fun :)
The next party was the following night after church, felt a lot like a pizza party - it was awesome. Much fun, with the usual suspects again (whom I love very much!) - it was good to celebrate! I had fun, and a lovely time. :)
Just this last weekend, celebrated a 21st birthday with a champagne breakfast in South Yarra. It was truly beautiful, and much fun. And a great idea! L, you are an amazing girl - it's probably not so evident, but I truly love you to bits and admire and respect you so much.

Clothes
The church has recently been repainted as part of the restoration works. Now, to go with the forward looking Vision, the church has adopted and equally modern outlook on the walls. Ask me to show you sometime if you haven't already seen it. We were on music that weekend, so we thought it'd be a fantastic idea to dress according to the colours of the church. That is, some grey (and white if desired) with highlights of red, blue and lime green. Bright much? Yes, that's right, we matched the church. Right down to some bits of grey, me wearing a kid's blue jumper (so we didn't have so much red in the lineup), P wearing ALL three colours (and that's what she would NORMALLY wear....!), and S's shirt matching the lime green wall so much that it looked almost like Floating Head Dummer.
All Blacks. Much performing.

More performing
So, asides from the orchestra concert, there's been some repeated Concert Class appearances. As in, I'm playing in some form or another (trio, quintet, accompanying) every week. yes, that's six consecutive weeks. I hope I'm not boo-ed off for being so prominent haha. Well, the way I see it, I'm (we're) getting practice because we got our act together. It's all about efficiency......
And there was last Friday where Chamber Class was the J&G show. No kidding. Our quintet was first, then our trio. Just in case you know, hand't had enough Mozart. Or Eb Major. Again. Haha. It was wonderful though. Even though it wasn't performance do-or-die at that time, it was still pretty adrenalin-pumped to play well for the whole hour. Which left me EXHAUSTED at the end of the day! I see how playing an entire concert with that much concentration, adrenalin and pressure is a very difficult thing!


So, the group assignment is finished, as is the essay (although that was pretty much done three days in advance woo efficiency and nerdiness!) apart from a couple of final touch-ups the day before. All is finished with that today. And I thought I was going to go to bed early tonight, until I realised that I have a test tomorrow (not too nervous about it, thankfully - yet...) and some homework to do. And much admin to sort through. I like doing the admin, but maybe with not so much work that needs to be done, you know? So much for that early night...I'll catch up on the sleep next week - am not going to the ball so I can have me-time. Muchly needed. I'll get there.....

Am trying to do Organisation Freakism as I realise that I have exams in two weeks' time (eek!) and uni has to keep rolling in that time, and that there are other things to prepare for in that time. I wish I had the next two weeks to do intense chamber music for the whole time. Alas, that is not possible, how unfortunate. But I have drawn up a timeline for each group - there is much work to be done......so possibly will not be the best friend at the moment......sorry....I'll do it as best I can!

Exciting little snippets: some good comments about my playing, particularly from people who can do stuff and facilitate stuff. I just need to maintain standards. And I did admittedly say No this evening to something, plus only a fairly unlikely 'maybe' to something else. It feels a little sad because as a young musician, you take as many opportunities you get. But in my case, it's often to the detriment of my health or ever-so-slightly mental state (even though I love being busy). And that's where knowing that I over-commit has to kick in and be sensible.