The end of the semester

What? Another semester gone already!
One more hour of required class to go to. And then it's twelve weeks of the undergraduate installment. Eek.
Much has happened in the past two weeks.
There has been much playing, most of all. Playing of trio music, of quintet music, Strauss concerto, other music. There has been applying for AYO and AISOI. There have been final assessments: conducting tests, chamber music exams (if you missed these, you missed out big time. They were awesome. But you'll be able to catch us on the radio. Even if you're not in this city! The other one, I hope you get to hear it sometime soon, because it was awesome. Not kidding.) There have been fun times two-piano-ing. There has been some MYO-ing (and more to come).
Oh, and I've managed to go to uni in-between all that. Which apparently has one commerce class somewhere....

So, pretty much, lots of music-king. Enough in the last two weeks to confirm that this is what I want to do. How, is another question. I've been asked quite a bit in the last three months, "What are you going to do next year?" The truthful answer is "I don't know." It scares me quite a bit.
I'd like to stay in this city - I've definitely fallen in love with it. And I don't think I could leave the people I've met here. But I know some of them are moving, or might move. And that makes me a little bit sad - all of the people I've met in my time here have shaped the way the last four and half years have happened. I know life keeps moving, but there are parts of me that sometimes want it to go back in time, or for time to stand still for a while so that things can be replayed, or happen for a long time without any change.

I'd like to go elsewhere in the not-so-distant future though. Sydney was an option, there is a course I'd like to pursue up there, but I'm not sure I could fall in love with the city as much as I have here. And there's the prospect of Manchester, which is somewhere I'd really like to go. But I know that's far, and the opportunity, if it arises, would be awesome. I know I'd be very sad though.

I thought I had a really clear idea, but now I'm not so sure. I'd like to think of myself as a forward-planner, but really, that's only for some things. Dreams. Not necessarily practical. I'm possibly organised, but not necessarily a planner. In some ways, much of my life is really circumstantial - stuff happens because it happens (although planned by somebody far greater than me!). I just let it happen, and hopefully take the right ones and run with them. So I'm sorry if I haven't gotten down and had the real conversation I've been meaning to have with you just yet - to find out how you're really going and stuff like that. I've just been having it with other people.

I'm terribly scared. Of what may or may not happen.
What would happen if I dared?