Learning

If there was something good, Stephanie Bannister was right when she said that we've all got things to be learning everyday. Terribly awkward interviews exposing lack of knowledge aside, I've always maintained that I could be learning lots from every day, regardless of age, prior experience or situation. It's been nice to have quite a bit of time to myself recently, to reflect, ponder and think.

A few of the things I've been thinking about, are not limited to, but include:

1. Seeing performances where there is joy.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. I love the physical sensation of actually playing the piano and music; I love the rehearsal process; I love the process of getting inside the music and knowing it so well; I love the interaction with other musicians; I love the buzz of performing; I love seeing the enjoyment gained by an audience. Among other things. But it's geared towards perfection and execution, or giving an experience, or saying something profound. Which are not bad things in themselves.
But so often we forget to also have fun, because it's such a privilege to be able to do this.
I recently have been to a number of performances - which of course were not perfect, because nothing is truly ever perfect - where it has been so obvious that the performers have been enjoying themselves so much. You can see it on their faces - their smiles, their sparkling eyes. And the audience reacts in an equally positive way.
So while I'm still striving for musical and technical proficiency and depth, I'm going to try having fun too.

2. Resting.
This is a constant hard one for me! I have lost track of how many times others have made comments to me about doing lots of stuff, being busy, saying no (big one!!) and the like. On Saturday, ANAM was shut and I therefore couldn't practise there; so instead of finding an alternative, I decided to have a day off. It was wonderful. It meant that I could stay up on Friday night pottering around (having several really wonderful conversations with various friends and clearing some things around my house) and sleep in the next morning. And then slowly cook breakfast and clean my house (long overdue!) and then toddle off to a friend's concert, chill out over some food and drink and catch up, and then go to another concert with some other friends whom I hadn't seen in a while. It was great! Also, coming back from Beijing was quite a revelation re. Rest. While I was working, I realised that I wasn't doing lots of playing, nor was I sitting at a desk nor computer for many hours a day. Yes, I was also off adventuring to tourist sites and watching and listening to concerts, but I came home extremely relaxed. Probably for all those reasons, as well as having an amazing time (which I will not repeat here, for fear of this turning out to be very far from the original intended post!). I came home extremely relaxed, with pretty much no tension at all, no aches (apart from the muscles that are underused most of the time and worked hard to walk through large palaces and the Great Wall..!). So yeah, rest is important. As is not feeling guilty about not always doing work. Because I'm pretty sure we weren't made solely to do work for the entirity of our lives!

3. Going with the flow.
Again, those who know me will know that this is also hard for me. One of my friends regularly tells me I'm a control freak, which I accept and know, and laugh about. Being in places at festivals where things change, there were many unknown factors would often strike fear and stress into my heart, because I like to know what's happening as soon as possible so that I can think about it and plan around it accordingly and the like. But sometimes that's just not possible, and the worrying about it causes even more stress and fear. So when I decided that it was just easier to take each day as it comes, and go with the flow, it was suddenly chilled and really enjoyable. I'm not saying don't plan at all, but it would be helpful sometimes for me to not have to have a plan all the time. Like when I'm on public transport and I think I'm cutting it fine, and I'm sitting there looking at the clock, willing the minutes to pass by slower, or that the tram would just be able to beat the lights, or just go a bit faster, or that nobody will ask for the next stop. Because I obviously can't influence those decisions! So now I just get there as fast as public transport will take me. And that's not to say that I try to just leave it to the last minute, because we know that I wouldn't do that anyway...


I don't attempt to suggest that I am suddenly enlightened, nor have some sort of self-satisfaction about my recent experiences, nor hope to garner a few pats on the back because I've been making "progress" (whatever that might mean). In this instance, I blog because it's a useful tool for self-reflection, for articulating my thoughts in something more than concepts and waving my arms around while making gibberish sounds. Which I am sometimes inclined to do when words fail me. What are some of the things you've been learning about recently? Are you like me and struggle with the things above?