multi faceted

little in life is ever a single dimension. it's usually multi-faceted.
which is my angst at the moment.
leaving or staying.
i'm probably staying, it's just that sometimes i wonder whether i could really hack it again.
i'm sure i could, just distancing myself has been one of the wonders of this semester.
it has been an amazing time to get to know new people, especially people who are so passionate about the same things as me.

don't get me wrong, the people here are lots of fun, and are all unique. i'm sick of the fact that I can't talk about the things i'm really interested in without the other person really understanding, i'm tired of the crap that goes on. my idea of fun is clearly something quite different. it would perhaps be very prudent of me to say that i have matured much faster than a lot of them. but it feels that way in many instances.
I definitely identify with them all - we're all here. but sometimes i have to wonder if that's the only thing.
no common interests, no anything else, really. it's just the place that brings us together.
of course, identifying with a place is a strong thing, but is it enough?
is that what i define myself by?

no. i define myself in a number of ways. you may call it multifaceted.

i'm like one of those bouncy rubber balls. i'll spring back up again.
it's just i'm having one of those lows where i'm deluded by it all.

i feel apathetic towards it all.
after being deluded by it.
and perhaps what i don't know, i just don't care about. not that everything is like that, but such frivolity really doesn't matter to me anymore.