2011: a reflection

Concerts attended: 55
Concerts played in: 42
Bach Preludes and Fugues read through this year so far: 47
Trips out of Melbourne for concerts: 4
 New friends made and experiences of ANAM 2011: priceless

What a year it's been. I never dreamt that this could happen, that I would be asked to audition and come to this institution. I never thought I'd get this amazing opportunity to study with the teacher I wanted to learn with. I never thought I'd have this much motivation to work so hard. I never thought I'd get through THIS much repertoire in one year (and let me tell you, the list is mighty long!). I didn't think that I could sustain that much playing without feeling some sort of physical pain. I never thought some of those people would be my friends, but ta-dah, look, they are! I never thought it'd come full circle in one year - chamber music finals, when it all started with chamber music camp 2010 and the competition a few months later.

But it did all happen. Somehow.

There have been so many highlights (with only a few blips on the radar) of the year. There have been some amazing artists, amazing teachers and people to inspire. There have been some extraordinary works to learn and perform. There have been so many revelations: technical, musical, personal. There have been wonderful colleagues who have encouraged, challenged and been so enjoyable and fun to work with.

It really is a unique place - I have heard so many guests come and say that they've never experienced any other institution quite like it. I'm pretty amazed that pianists are encouraged and even required to undertake lots of chamber music and sonata work with other musicians. I have discovered amazing musical collaborations with some of my colleagues this year and enjoyed getting to know them and their work very intensely in a short space of time. I still sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure this is reality, and that I'm well in it.

This is not to say it's always been easy. On the contrary. There have been times of craziness, where I wanted time to stand still, for it all to go away, to have a body double, as I wondered how I managed to get myself into so many things. Throw in the other stuff of having a part-time job, often-inconsiderate other residents and the stresses of normal life and it got a little bit out of hand. But all those around me were giving, generous, kind and encouraging.

And it's been busy, for sure. I had to make a list of dates with the repertoire for the second half of the year because I couldn't get my head around it, and couldn't figure out what to practice. My arms cradled a large pile of books  that I apparently got lost behind. Just when I thought the pile would decrease, another thing would be added to it. Too often, I think, I said that I'd catch up with friends "when this is all over" but it never seemed to be over until the very end. But I'm one of those people that would like to have no regrets, so I also don't regret working hard this year and getting to know a bunch of other people. This is the journey of life, yes, where we meet different people at different times along the adventure? I only not regret being able to have 400% of time and energy and effort to maintain every relationship to the same degree as I would have liked.

I've learnt how to say 'no' a bit better this year, but it's still a work in progress. I've been given amazing opportunities this year and I've grabbed most of them and run far and fast. Maybe I should have been pickier and choosier about the battles and challenges I wanted to take on - a precedent has now been set! I hope I have the same sort of drive and passion through and beyond next year. I hope I continue to see things as great opportunities, despite it being a bit different, the vibe and personnel changing. 2011 has been a defining year indeed, and one that I'm thankful for.